Affirming One Another

Take your Bibles, if you would please, and turn to the book of Ephesians. Ephesians chapter 4, verses 17 to 32, is the section which we're at today. And I've entitled today's message "Affirming One Another." "Affirming One Another" is the title.

You'll see in today's text how Paul starts off affirming the Ephesian Christians of their spiritual growth. And I would like to challenge us to be ones who also affirm one another in our spiritual growth, to recognize where we're actually growing and speak to those things. Be encouragers of one another. Be ones who lift up one another in the faith. So you'll see in today's text that Paul is affirming the Ephesians in their individual areas of spiritual growth. Plus, not only is he doing that, but he's also listing what they're not. And so I think that today you will take a double take at the text as you start to see Paul unravel the growth here. That's going to be encouraging for us.

And so now, as an extension of building the body spiritually — which we've looked at in the last couple of weeks in the text in chapter 4 — we're going to see encouraging individual Christians to continue to lift up one another and affirm one another. And so the Ephesians have actually changed. They've gone from being pagans and heathens to actual Christians. So you'll see in detail what that looks like today. The old character of the Ephesians has now been washed away, and it's been replaced with new character in Christ. And I really appreciate the fact that Paul affirms this and he details this, because he now equips us to be able to do the same thing in others' lives.

The Bible says — and if you would read with me in Ephesians chapter 4, verse 17 — "So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart. And they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality, for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. But you did not learn Christ in this way." That's a hearty amen. They did not learn it, and they're not doing these things. That's an actual definition of total depravity there that we've just read.

In verse 21: "If indeed you have heard of Him and have been taught in Him just as truth is in Jesus" — that's a good phrase to underline, by the way, in verse 21: "Truth is in Jesus." In verse 22: "That in reference to your former manner of life you lay aside the old self" — amen, they're doing great — "which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which is in the likeness of God and has been created in righteousness and holiness of truth. Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another."

We'll pause right there for just a moment of prayer. Lord, thank You for this passage and how Paul has not only affirmed them and their life and their spiritual strategy to continue to grow in You, but also, Lord, his encouragement to continue in the faith. Help us to learn from the text today. We pray in Christ's name, amen.

In this text, there's no higher language that Paul could use to esteem the ministry of maturing the church. And so if you have an idea in the back of your mind — it's what Paul is doing right here — he is maturing the church, and he's using the highest level of language possible. And John Calvin said of this most important ministry of equipping the saints: "God might Himself have performed this work if He had chosen, but He has committed it to the ministry of men."

And so all of us here have a ministry — not only of reconciliation, according to Paul's ministry to the Corinthians, where he said that every Christian has a ministry of reconciliation, or to evangelize, to share the gospel — but also we have a ministry to mature the saints, to be a part of utilizing our gift within the local church so that as a result — if you look in the text above in verse 14 — as a result, we're no longer children in the faith. Okay, we're to utilize our time with one another in the local church and our time with one another as we're visiting in families and homes. We're coming up on Thanksgiving here. Our primary objective as Christians is to lead people to faith in Christ and mature the Christians. And so let that be on your heart and mind as we are meeting together and interacting with one another.

But most importantly, that is the main idea as you're at church. We're here to worship God and to lift Him up. And as we're interacting with one another, we're utilizing our gifts to mature the faith of the believers or to magnify Christ. And so this is what we're about. I thought that was rather interesting — that John Calvin said that this most important ministry, God could have done Himself, but He has equipped the saints to continue in this ministry. That's important.

So most expositional preachers feel that it's commonly known that the measure of their ministry is the maturity of their local congregation. That's the measure. But church growth gurus would think that it's more like accumulating sinners, or getting as many numbers of people as you possibly can. And so the measure of men who are able to do ministry, or who are maturing in their faith — that is the true measure. The Christ-likeness of the people is the true measure of ministry. The depth of your people, the authentic relationship that they have with Christ — that's the measure. The level of commitment that they have to Christ in the local church — that's the measurement. The knowledge that they have, the wisdom that they have in Christ — that's the true measurement. Not numbers, not breadth, not width. That's not the goal.

But what does the ministry of the Word actually do? The Bible says that the ministry of the Word of God sanctifies souls. It refines people. John 17:17 says that "Your word is truth. Sanctify them in the truth." And so it has a sanctifying aspect to it. So if you're all about the Word of God, then you are participating in this ministry — not only of reconciliation, bringing those who are lost into the light of Christ, but also those who are in Christ. And so what does this ministry of the Word do? It sanctifies, it reproves, it corrects, it trains in righteousness. Second Timothy chapter 3, verse 16, says that the Word of God is profitable for reproving and correcting and training in righteousness.

If you love Christ, then you love His Word. And if you love His Word, then you know and apply His Word. And His Word does these things in people's lives. It's not only your life, okay? You are not one who exists just to study the Word of God for yourself. But what you learn, what you know of Christ, is expected by God to be shared with others so others can mutually grow in that as well.

Church growth schemes proclaim that the measure of a church is large numbers of people, and even how many sinful, depraved people they can accumulate. But that is not what Paul is setting forth before the people to be about. Read verse 17 with me: "So this I say and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer as the Gentiles walk." Praise the Lord — they are being affirmed that they in fact do not walk in darkness like Gentiles do. They are very careful to do this.

And so now in verse 21 you can see as well: "If indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus." Truth being in Christ — true truth, true love, true joy, authentic life in Christ — has to do with these ideas. A perversion of this is to not affirm these things, but to affirm sin. A perversion of this idea is that if you went in the exact opposite direction — which Paul is affirming and directing and encouraging away from — you wouldn't affirm these things, the spiritual growth things. You would actually affirm paganism or you would affirm immorality. You would be affirming — it's a hot word today — affirming the LGBTQ movement. You don't want to be lifting up or esteeming or gravitating in that area. That's backwards.

So true love — keep this in mind — true happiness is being united with Christ. And we have a part in being able to direct people's lives with our words and our actions and affirming spiritual growth in people's lives. So you really want to be one who is able to see where someone is growing in Christ, and identify that and affirm that and reward what you want repeated.

Point number one, if you like to take notes, is: affirm spiritual progress in people's walk. Affirm spiritual progress in people's walk. Verse 17 says, "So this I say and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk." This word "walk" meaning their life — in Hebrew it's to regulate your life. It's not just how you live; it's what you regulate. It's what you restrict. It's how you gauge what ought to be and what you say no to. It's very important. How you walk is what you say yes and no to in your life. It's to make progress in your spiritual conduct. That's walking. It's not just a stillness in life — you're actually walking. The state in which you choose to live is your spiritual walk with Christ. And to live like a Gentile scripturally means to live like a heathen or a godless barbarian, or a Greek following mystery religion person. And so the very opposite of that is what's happening here in the Ephesian church, and Paul is affirming that to them.

How can we affirm people's spiritual progress? Well, if someone around you is progressing in their vocabulary, then they're growing in Christ. If they are using fewer dirty words or bad words, if they're cursing less, then recognize that. Say amen. "I hear less profanity coming from your mouth — that's great. I want to affirm that in your life."

Your mind is no longer completely filled with futility. Now you see in the text in verse 17: "You walk no longer just as the Gentiles walk in the futility of their mind." You know what someone is thinking — oftentimes it comes out of their mouth and they start speaking that. But here they are no longer futile in their mind, which means to be devoid of truth. And what that means is to be filled with perverseness, to be filled with depravity. You are no longer futile in your mind. You're no longer acting like a Gentile and speaking like a Gentile. Affirm that.

If someone in your life is making progress in those areas, we need to recognize and say great job. It's a benefit to everybody around us, especially yourself. How can you affirm such? Well, ask, "Do you feel like your mind is in better condition today than it was last year?" If you want to affirm somebody, ask them a spiritual question. Ask them, "Do you feel like your mental state — before Christ, the things that you think about, how you dwell with Christ internally, the things that you think about, the things that you love, the things that you say and do internally — your mind is in a better place today?" Your mind is a powerful thing. Proverbs 23:7 says, "As a man thinks, so he is." And so if someone's mental state is better today than it was last year, it needs to be affirmed. We need to encourage those types of things.

The mind holds the highest rank and responsibility in the human constitution. The mind reasons. It's in the mind where we get instruction of the will. And so you think, and you instruct yourself to have conduct, to have character. And in your mind there are restraints, and so sin is restrained first of all in thinking. If you have stinking thinking, stop. It stops in the mind. And so if you have a sinful habit, it stops in the mind — you can stop these things. It starts in the mind. The battle is in the mind, first of all. And so where you're thinking helps you and your character.

So in your mind, as where you're reasoning and instructing and restraining life — to have vain thoughts all the time and have an empty-mindedness and to be thinking about the things of the world all the time is such a tragedy. The mind can be translated in Hebrew thought as "understanding" — it's just basic understanding: how you understand life to be, how you understand Christ. Gentiles are void of understanding in their mind, and it comes out of their mouths. And so as they think, they are. And so is the case with ourselves.

Paul recounts they are no longer mentally futile. The Ephesians have grown. Their mind is in a better condition today — in the text — than it was in previous times. They're no longer empty of understanding. They have in their mind a concept of Christ now and are conforming their lives to that. They're no longer ignorant of truth. They're no longer hard of heart, and they're no longer so sinful in actions. And Paul is affirming that their former manner of life used to be such. In verse 22 it says that "in reference to your former manner of life" — they used to live like Gentiles, but they've had a conversion. They've been saved. And now as true Christians, Paul is affirming the life change in their life, and he's building up and he's encouraging them.

The gift of exhortation is important to be utilized in the local church to lift people up and to help them to be able to see where they've made progress. We all must be exhorting and lifting up and encouraging and affirming the spiritual progress in others.

Just to name a few — my heart as a pastor is overwhelmed with the amount of joy from the spiritual fruit and progress in this local congregation. I think of wonderful people who have committed their lives to this local church. And spiritual groups like Dan and Cindy — over the years we've seen tremendous spiritual growth in their life. The same with Doug and Tori. It's such a blessing to this pastor's heart and anybody who's paying attention to lives that are increasing in their faith and commitment to Christ — they see these things. And Shawn and Natalia — we spoke years ago about how if we just remain committed to Christ and continue in the Word, you have no idea how far you'll be spiritually in five years. It's just amazing the life transformation that happens in a short amount of time. And if we would have said the first time that he came through the doors that his wife would be the future secretary of the church, he would have shaken his head and said, "There ain't no way."

The spiritual growth in his life — and he's up to be a deacon now — it's so incredible to see how far we've come in a short amount of time. Doesn't it feel good to affirm one another in this area? To use our words and our lips to recognize, to lift up each other where it really counts? It's important to do that.

In 1 Corinthians 6, verse 11, it says, "Such were some of you, right? But you were washed, but you were sanctified." 1 Corinthians 6:11 recognizes that even the Corinthian church — the heathens there, those given to such deep and dark immoralities — they were like that. What a recognition there. What an affirming statement: you were that way, but you've been washed by the Word of God and you've been sanctified. That's superbly encouraging.

Now in verses 17 to 32, it speaks of how we treat one another. Our words are very important in how we treat one another. In verse 29 it says, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment."

If you want to think to yourself, "I want to put my words on the right path, and I want to say what counts. I want to make my words count. I want to make my life count for Christ and others" — then take this verse to heart. Forget all the futile, empty, conversational words and sentences that add up to nothing. Don't even say those things. Things that do not need to be said don't need to be said. Don't let an unwholesome word come out of your mouth. Don't let needless things fill the air. Instead, only such a word that is good for edification. If you're going to edify someone, if you're going to affirm someone, if you're going to lift up, then speak to the things that need to be spoken to.

Set your mind on things above, first of all. Colossians 3:2 says set your mind on things above. If your mind is on things above, then it's going to come out of your mouth and out of your lips. It's very simple.

Now, the major contrast in this text is the former ignorance that the Ephesians used to live in and be given to, as compared to new knowledge. What a difference — the former life of being ignorant and now the new knowledge. So the superiority of Christ is so beautiful and so amazing and so wonderful that it totally has changed their life, transformed their mind and their mouths and their hearts, and everything that they're about is about Christ. Who they used to be is now just like way down low. We hardly ever talk about the old life. We don't even worry about that anymore, because Christ is the main idea. He is the main subject. He's like, "What's worth talking about?" Things of eternal value are amazing, and the things that are temporal are hardly worth talking about.

So you engage a person's spiritual temperature by what he thinks and by what he says, and especially whether or not they're affirming one another and one another's spiritual walk.

I want you to take a closer look with me in verse 17. This is what's called a metacomment — it's used to make a comment about what's about to be said. So this metacomment, "So this I say," is important because right in the middle of writing this letter, Paul says, "So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord." It's building here. Metacomments are expressions used to attract attention to what's about to be said. And so it's almost like drawing in the attention. He's saying something to get your attention, to place emphasis on what is about to be said. It's a literary device. And so this phrase here — "So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord" — places emphasis upon what he is about to emphasize.

And so this next section reports, or testifies — some translations use the word "testify" — of the fruit of the Ephesian growth. This is the highest form of literary device and terminology that can be used to place emphasis upon a particular area. Some of you like to use like ten exclamation points at the end of something very important or something you're happy about: "My grandchild spoke for the first time!"

This is superbly important, because children — the Ephesian children, spiritual children — have now taken some baby steps and become not only youth in the faith or overcomers in the faith, but they are overcoming the sin in their life. They have life transformation and are growing in their faith. And so this next section reports that. This next section affirms the sound doctrine that has been preached in prior years and the results of the work of the Word in their lives. This is the result of being faithful to Christ. This is the result of knowing sound doctrine and imparting that to others. The results in verse 14 — "As a result, we're no longer children" — these are spiritual people who are growing spiritually. And so the Ephesians are demonstrating here, in a pagan culture, the advantages of gaining Christ and becoming true Christians.

To look into it just a little bit more with me — the verse starts with the word "so," and there's a lot of meaning packed into this little word "so." It takes into consideration that the hearers understand the weighty concepts that have been previously established. And so we have in the couple of weeks prior talked about the prior verses. And God in summary has descended from heaven to earth in the flesh.

This word "so" means that the Ephesians comprehend — over here in verse 8: "When He ascended on high, He led captive a host of captives, and He gave gifts to men." And then this expression, "He ascended" — what does it mean that He also "descended" to the lower parts? They understand that God came to earth, incarnate in the flesh. So you get that? Not only that, but that He lived a perfect life, and He was crucified unto death, and He was buried and put in a borrowed tomb, and was raised from death to life three days later. Then after encouraging His disciples over the Last Supper, He revealed Himself to over 500 witnesses, and He victoriously ascended from earth back to heaven. Verse 8 says, "When Christ ascended on high, He gave gifts to men."

So in verse 17, it takes into consideration that the Ephesians understand what he has already said. And these gifts that are being given to Christians as Christ is ascending — the gifts are unique. So unique, it's like a fingerprint — a fingerprint to each individual person. It means if you do not do what you are designed to do, it does not get done. That's how important you are to the local church. So this is a weighty responsibility: to fully engage in God's blood-bought, priceless plan and design, to be fully engaged on mission to reach people and to see that they're maturing in Christ.

He is so grateful for the fact that the Ephesians are growing in their faith, because the saints are being equipped and now they're serving and they're growing. In verse 15 it says, "But speaking the truth in love, we grow up in all aspects." And so they're growing. They're able to speak sound doctrine. And so verse 17 says, "So — you comprehend all of this — what now?" He is moving forward to express his deepest love and appreciation for the multitude of the servants there in the Ephesian church. He's lifting them up, and he's laboring himself.

And so I too would love to express my deepest appreciation and love for each and every one of you. My heart is kind of like a rubber band — where you go, in heart I feel, and my prayers are with you, and my love and my concern and my admiration is with you all. I think about you all the time. I pray for you all the time, and you encourage my heart, and I have love and concern. That's what the shepherd's heart is like in ministry. And so I want to express to you my deepest love and appreciation for all of you, especially those who are truly engaged and committed here at the church.

What a wonderful process this is for us all to continue in our faith together and on our journey of being sanctified, to one day be able to see Christ face to face. Now remember, then, while you serve — if I could encourage you like the Apostle Paul is encouraging the Ephesians — to keep serving with dignity, being sanctified as you're growing in Christ, with the local church, remembering that you are serving underneath the Father. You're here at the Father's house. Be Spirit-filled, in other words, as one who has prayed up — very humble and gentle and flexible — one who is willing to train others to do your job and give your job away. You're working in a humble state. You're serving without the world on your mind. While you're here serving, you're filled with the Spirit and you're thinking of Christ. You're not worried about the ways of the world, so that the worldly things are not coming out of your mind.

And by the way, we have two Classical Conversations — CC — groups that meet here during the week. We'd love for more of the saints to be on campus with a Beulah Baptist Church T-shirt to interact with the families and the parents, to encourage all of those wonderful parents and children who are growing in their faith underneath a biblical worldview education. We want to encourage parents who are teaching their children. We had a good meal together last week, a Thanksgiving meal, and some of you came and helped to serve and to interact. We had just a wonderful time interacting with the children and with the parents.

And it's the goal here at the church to have a group here every single day. There's a lot of children here in our community that need a place to be able to have education. And so we like to see more children on campus every single week, but that takes more service. It takes more dedication. We're kind of maxed out with the service that we have during the week on how many we can interact with. And so more servants, more service, more sanctification.

And as we serve, we serve from the purity of heart, like Christ served the church willingly and sacrificially. And we put the former manner of life in the past, so we don't talk about those types of sinful past deeds with all of its lusts and greeds and gossip and corruption and pride. But we serve daily with a renewed spirit.

You see, the Ephesians were being affirmed that they have been putting on the new self and putting off the old self. And they serve with the new self. That's important for us to do that as well — to serve in the spirit of righteousness and holiness and truth. And so, same as when we come to the Lord's house on the Lord's day, we remember that it's a high honor to be able to serve Christ, to be equipped by God with a gift, to be able to utilize it to help mature men for Christ at the local church and through the local church. And as you do that, affirm as many as you possibly can of their spiritual growth.

And so with the countless amounts of children who are here during the week, you could not touch all of their lives. But you could go around and ask them a question: "Where have you grown in your walk with Christ this week?" And they light up, and they would love to tell you something. It's really a great ministry. It requires us to be humble. It requires us to use our gifts. It requires us to be willing to equip others and lift up others for the purposes of maturing Christians and magnifying Christ. That is what this is all about.

And so Paul is placing a lot of emphasis on the fact that the Ephesian church has actually grown in their faith. And so in verse 17 — "So this I say" — this whole preceding text is about equipping the saints for the work of service. Pastors and teachers and evangelists are for, verse 11, "the equipping of the saints for service." And that equals spiritual growth in the body. The body is built up. And so when all of this is happening in the Ephesian church, in verse 17, "So this I say" — with all that in mind — "So this I say," with all of who Paul is, all of his apostolic authority, all of who he is in being approved as an apostle from Peter, James, and John — "So this I say." Paul is saying, "So this I say, with all of my reputation." "I too have been shipwrecked and imprisoned" — I'm imprisoned now. With all of Paul's reputation of going from being a Pharisee to a true Christian, from all of Paul's reputation and authority, and also his experience in suffering insults and being followed by mockers and enduring severe trials on missions such as shipwrecks and beatings — with all of who Paul is — Paul parks here in the middle of this idea of the Ephesian Christians being equipped by pastors and evangelists and teachers to serve according to the gift that God has given them. And he says, "So this I say," with all of who Paul is.

And then, with a literary device to catch their attention even more, he adds more weight to what he's about to say by saying, "And I affirm together with the Lord." So he puts the deity of Christ on the line with what he is about to say.

And so this word "say" — it's an indicative statement. Interestingly, the attitude of this verb is that it is of a lesser position than the ones whom he's addressing. And so this is not a power play by Paul. He is not using his authority and experience to say, "Listen to me," and giving them a command. This is a statement. And this in the Greek is a lesser position of one addressing ones who are above him.

And so we can't really discern Paul's tone of voice because we didn't hear him. We can't really discern Paul's handwriting because I don't have an original document in my hands. We can't discern his posture or his attitude and how he's gesturing, whether he's pointing at the people as he's talking. But we can discern all of these things from the choice of words that he uses. In fact, he is implementing what he is preaching and saying back in verse 1 and 2: "Therefore I, a prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, patience and showing tolerance for one another in love." He is implementing this idea of being humble and gentle and patient. And in verse 1, this is imploring them — he is, from a standpoint of begging them, not commanding.

He then moves forward in a more humble state. In verse 17, from a lesser point, humbly and heartfully he makes the following statement: "I see that you no longer walk like a Gentile. I want to affirm you — with all of who I am, as one who does not need or does not deserve to be saved. I don't deserve the grace that I've been given. I don't deserve to be made an apostle. Christ came to me; I didn't come to Him — with all of the humility that I could muster up, with all of the gentleness, with all of the tolerance, with all the love. And then with all of who Christ is, I affirm you, Ephesians, that you are no longer a Gentile. You're no longer lost. You're no longer trapped in darkness. You are actually living a transformed life." And this is beautiful.

Now here's a nerd note — okay, for those of you who like anything grammatical. This is no imperative. This is no statement which Paul is fully capable of coming down with full force. So this statement is not a full-force statement like Galatians chapter 3, verse 1: "You foolish Galatians!" That's like full force, right? Here is the exact opposite. He is speaking like a beggar to a traveler, like one who is sitting outside of the city gates in need of what a traveler might have. He is speaking as a son to a father, as a person to a king, as a child to a parent. This is what's happening here.

And so my nerd note for today: this is not an imperative statement. The CSB translation wrongly inserts the word "should" in this verse, as if he is commanding them — no, no, no. He's affirming that they are living well. The NIV uses the word "insists." But Paul is not insisting that they live this way. He is affirming that they are.

This is important. And so what is Paul saying? What is he stating? He is saying, "Keep doing well. I affirm you in your maturity, in that the old sins are gone. Keep being transformed by the renewing of your mind," like the Romans were instructed to do. Be humble, be gentle. And so with all of who Paul is, he craves and he longs and he begs in chapter 4, verses 1 through 3. But here in verses 17 to 24, he is affirming what they have already accomplished. And so Paul presently affirms that they are walking in this way and they are laying aside the old sins and they are putting on the newness of Christ. Paul knows this and he is affirming this. It's really beautiful.

And so here in verse 17: "So this I say and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles walk." He's affirming them. And now that he's affirming them together with the Lord, the Ephesians have such recognition in the following statements — these following verses — that they are not living like lost Gentiles. Praise the Lord. They are not futile in their mental thinking, verse 17. They're no longer ignorant in their understanding, verse 17. They're not hard of heart and calloused, verse 18. They're not chasing what feels good, and they're not greedy, verse 19. They're not corrupted with lusts, in verse 22. They're no longer speaking falsehood, verse 25. They're no longer given to anger, verse 26. They're no longer giving the devil opportunity in their life, verse 27. They're no longer thieves — they're not stealing, verse 28. They're no longer using unwholesome words, in verse 29. And no longer grieving the Holy Spirit, verse 30.

This is affirming their spiritual walk in Christ. There's a lot that the Ephesians have overcome in their spiritual walk. And so the main idea of this passage — I would dare say — is that the Ephesian antidote to fighting off the old sinful self is putting on the new self, putting off the old and putting on the new. And so applicationally, we also submissively set aside bad character one thing at a time. And you will grow in your faith little by little by little, and over a short period of time you'll grow a long ways. And so replace old habits with new habits.

More knowledge and more understanding of Christ — verse 18. Look with me: "Being darkened in their mind and understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of heart." They're no longer acting these depraved ways. And so they are putting on the new self, which is more knowledge and more understanding of Christ. In verse 20, they're learning Christ in His ways. Look: "But you did not learn Christ in this way." What a compliment. Some of you can say the same thing: "I learned Christ in this way and I'm living this way." Most of us would say, "I wish I would have learned these ways early in life, but I've had to slowly be transformed."

In verse 21, they're focusing on the truth in Christ: "If indeed you have heard of Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Christ." Putting off the old and putting on the new — this is important to be able to step by step by step utilize what I like to call the displacement principle, so that you are displacing sinful habits in your life little by little by little with healthy spiritual habits. You're renewing the spirit of your mind. Verse 23 — you're thinking about the right things. You're being holy by not dwelling on the old stuff.

Let me ask you a question. Do you have something plaguing you? Do you have something that is weighing you down? Listen — it's a very simple step-by-step solution. Put that aside and think on the right things in Christ. The devil wants to get you down and discouraged and depressed, just like in Matthew chapter 4, the attack on Christ from Satan. He is the same way — he's not creative. He's coming after you. We know that. Do you have something plaguing you that's weighing you down? Do you have sinful habits that are inch by inch bringing you away from the closeness with Christ that Christ wants for you? Listen — it's a very simple solution. It's in the text, step by step by step. Put off the old self. Put them aside. It's your job, your exercise. Put on the new things. Fill your mind with Christ. Fill your mind with the Holy Spirit of God. Sing psalms. Sing hymns. Be filled with God.

Set aside anger and do not let it lead you to sin. Verse 26: "Be angry, and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger." Take care of your anger issue today. Set it aside. Do not let it fester and make you a sinner.

In verse 28: "We're to work hard and earn an honest living. He who steals must steal no longer, but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who is in need." And then verse 29: say only what helps other people. "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only that which is good for edification according to the need of the moment." Does it need to be said? Ask yourself that question while you're in conversation. Do I need to be saying this, or is it simply unwholesome? Say what needs to be said. Be purposeful with your words.

Now, sometimes some personalities need to pull back on the amount of words that they're able to disperse in a day, and other people need to press forward with their words. So I would say this to those of you who don't have a lot of words to say: push forward and say the right things. Say wholesome things. Mature people in their faith by affirming and uplifting them. Recognize the spiritual growth in people's lives, and go over to someone on purpose and say, "Hey, I just want you to know that I noticed." Use your words. Uplift a heart. You just never know who you may be speaking to. You may be speaking to the next John Bunyan, the next Martin Luther, the next Calvin. You don't know who you're talking to. It's amazing how God has set this ministry for the saints. He could have done it Himself, but this ministry of maturing the saints through the gifts and through affirming what is actually happening is for us.

So be kind, be tender, and be forgiving, in verse 32. If there is one essential ingredient to being a true minister, it is having a forgiving spirit. You're to forgive like Christ has forgiven you. You have no business holding anything against a brother or sister in Christ. You cannot in your heart be agitated or irritated or upset with another person, because essentially what you are saying is "I deserve to be treated better, and I'm upset with you, and even though Christ died for me and treated me good, I'm going to treat you bad." We are truly, according to verse 32, to "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you."

And so if someone has treated you badly, here's what you say: "I deserve to be treated worse. Christ has forgiven me of everything. How am I to hold anything against you?" This is important — now you're free to be able to minister, because it's under Christ. You don't give people what they deserve because you don't get what you deserve. And so as we truly are equipped with the love of God, we do not hold anything against one another. Forgive right away. Forgive right away. It's good marriage advice, by the way. Forgive right away. It's good parenting advice, by the way. Forgive right away. It's good fellowship advice, by the way. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Be one who just forgives right away. "You can't offend me." Be one who is so overwhelmed with the love of God — that He forgave me, a sinner, a wretch like me — that "you can't offend me. I'm going to minister. I'm going to be one who is continuously filled with the Holy Spirit and using my words to be uplifting to others."

And so I say again to you: what sin is plaguing you? Put that off and put on the new.

I'd like to give you some take-home truths now. Number one: use affirmation for maturing men. Use affirmation for maturing men. Paul is encouraging continual spiritual growth by using words. Words. He's using words to mature men. And so use affirmation to steer this Beulah Baptist Church ship, to steer lives in Christ.

Paul says in verse 17, "I say and affirm" — be like Paul. Use your words. Positive reinforcement in teaching and training and parenting is a strategy that truly works. It uses more light than darkness. It's easy to be negative. It's easy to be a fault finder. It's easy to be no, no, no, no, negative, negative, negative, negative. But it takes a Spirit-filled person who is looking for something to build up inside of a person to utilize their words for compliments. So we want to be complimentary. We don't want to just be correcting. Correction is important, but we want to be more complimentary.

It demonstrates, by the way, that you have faith. If you're going to compliment something — when you know full well that something in someone's life is not right, and you compliment, you find some area in their life, no matter how hard you have to look — if you affirm their spiritual growth somewhere in their life, but you know full well of a lot that's going on wrong, don't you think they know what's wrong in their life already? By you speaking to them in an affirming way and lifting up an area that needs to be lifted up, you are automatically communicating to them what needs to be put aside. And you're leaving room for the Holy Spirit of God to convict that person, and then spiritual progress and growth happens in their life.

People are smart. You don't have to tell them where they're in sin. They know — they have a Holy Spirit, they have their conscience. And so as you lift up what needs to be lifted up and they walk away and they say, "Man, I'm so thankful I was not scorned or corrected or raked over the coals. They know where I'm at in my walk with Christ. They know what I'm doing right and wrong, but yet they still lifted me up" — that is so encouraging. And the word for "encourage" is like "overcoming" — you have helped them to have courage to overcome. You've given them motivation to continue in Christ, and to actually not fall into the same old sin after they leave the conversation with you. They have now been energized in Christ, and they have fuel for the day to let the old pass away, and perhaps they can leave it there and develop the spiritual skill set of taking on the new and putting off the old. This is how we use affirmation for maturing men as much as possible.

And number two, if you're taking notes for a take-home truth — very simple: words change lives. Paul's words helped change pagans into Christians. And the Bible says that "life and death are in the power of the tongue." What an important proverb for us to remember — that life and death are in the power of the tongue. We can change lives with the words that come out of our mouth.

So let us not be filled with futile thoughts, empty thoughts, worldly thoughts, but fill our minds and fill our hearts with the things of Christ so the right things come out of our mouth. So first of all, you need to be managing your own heart and mind life well so that the fruit of your lips comes out in a way that is right, holy, and true and lifting up others. Because words change lives. You never know where something you say will just put somebody on a different path. Oh Lord, let it not be in a negative direction, right? Man, if I'm irritated or upset, I just zip it. I don't have anything good to say — don't say it at all. Amen. And just hold your tongue if you don't have anything good to say. You do not want to change someone's life in a negative direction because of some silly sinful words that you've said. But you're able to manage your tongue, harness your tongue, keep your tongue.

You know how powerful the tongue is, right? James spent like a whole chapter on this — chapter 3. Your tongue is as powerful as a little rudder on a big ship; it guides the whole ship. Words change lives. It guides the whole ship. Words are as powerful as just a little spark that's able to cause a whole forest fire — it's an illustration James gives. Words are so powerful that you can take a little piece of metal and put it in a huge horse's mouth, and that little bit could control the whole horse. Put a bit in the horse's mouth, you've got control of the whole huge animal. It's how powerful words are. Words can direct things. But if you are careless with your words, then James gives another illustration for how powerful words are — it's like poison in a snake's mouth. So a little viper can kill an entire elephant. Life and death are in words. And so we should use our words, because they change lives.

You know, the gifts that we were talking about previously in the last couple of messages — they're divided into two different categories. Number one, serving gifts; but the other half of them are speaking gifts. Yeah, speaking gifts. So the gifts that Christ gave, ascended up on high to men — half of them are speaking gifts. How important is it for us to understand that the words of our mouths change lives? Our tongue should be used for ministering and maturing others.

In the text, much of what people have learned of Christ, they have heard. Ephesians 4:20: "But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him." Much of what the Ephesian church knew of Christ, what they've learned of Christ, is what they heard. They heard it from the lips of other saints. In a day when pencil and pen was not as common as it is today — and many people still today learn what they know about Christ from what other people say. A lot of their philosophy of life, a lot of their theology in life, a lot of what they do, their character, comes from what they hear. They've learned these things. And so how much more should we be using our words to mature men? Because it's a truth — especially for men. Most older men don't read a whole lot; they listen a lot. They hear, they observe. So how much more should we be saying the right things and maturing men? This is superbly important. Much of what people have learned of Christ, they have heard. And so the gifts are speaking gifts.

Take-home truth number three — and this is surprising, but we should affirm Gentiles of their exclusion. Affirm Gentiles of their exclusion. In verse 18 you'll see the phrase "excluded from life" — "being darkened in their understanding, excluded from life."

Now, I think that we should agree with the atheist or with the lost person: those who are apart from Christ do not have eternal life in Christ. We need to verbalize that and affirm that and say, yes, it is hell to pay for those who reject the salvation that Christ offers, for those who repent and believe. Tell them why. Tell them textually, scripturally why. The Bible says that if you do not know Christ, you will remain in your sin, and that is an eternal death sentence — because of your ignorance in verse 18, and because of your hardness of heart in verse 18, and because they love their sin and their sensuality and impurities and greediness in verse 19, and they have become calloused, even giving themselves over to sensuality and the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. Total depravity defined here in these verses.

Affirm the one who is lost: you are lost. Do it with a broken heart. Do it with accuracy. Do it biblically. Let them know. Clarify and confirm their position — either of their father the devil, or in Christ. "Of their father the devil," John 8:44 says. You are either of your father the devil or you're in Christ. You're either dead in your trespasses and sins, or you're saved. You're either a child of wrath — Ephesians chapter 2, verse 3: "Among them we too all formerly lived in the lust of our flesh, indulging in the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath." And so people are either lost or found — they're children of wrath, or they've been made alive. Ephesians 2:5 says you have to be made alive in Christ.

And if they do not repent, chapter 4, verse 19, gives some results here — it's very unfortunate. Chapter 4, verse 19, talks about how they've been given over: "And they, having become calloused, have given themselves over." This is the same language as used in Romans chapter 1, when the worst of sins — used by the body to reject creation's intent for morality — the result then is being given over to those sins in a depraved mind. And so lostness has a death sentence here, and before you die it gets really bad. The sins of immorality are worse because they show up in the body. Your body starts to degrade worse because of these depraved sins, and you can actually have a mind that is worse than being futile — like a Gentile is actually given over to immorality, to the point where, like Isaiah chapter 5, verse 20 says, you actually think what is right is wrong and what's wrong is right. To be that perverted, to be that turned — affirm someone who is lost that this is the path that lost people are on. And though you may not reach this depth of depravity, it is still where sin leads, and there's still a death sentence here.

We need to be honest with lost people. We need to affirm Gentiles of their exclusion in Christ. We need to be ones who promote life in Christ. We need to tell them to "be saved from this perverse generation," Acts 2:40. We need to command them like God commands all men everywhere to repent — in Acts chapter 17, verse 30. He commands all men everywhere to repent. Isaiah chapter 45, verse 22, says, "Turn to Me and be saved, for I am God and there is no other." First Timothy 1:15 says, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners." And in verse 16 it says to believe in Him for eternal life. In Hebrews chapter 4, verse 7, it says, "Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts."

This is so important for us — not only to affirm the spiritual growth in believers and use our words to help change lives, but also we need to be evangelistic and affirm people of the path that they are on, and clarify that, so that they too can be called to repent and believe in Christ.

And today, if you have never repented of your sin and turned from your wicked ways and placed your faith in Christ, Jesus is saying, "Come unto Me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, I'll give you rest." True peace, true rest — for those who repent of their sin, who recognize they're on this path to hell and that they deserve it because of their sin. That's the reason why Christ died in their place. He paid the penalty for them. True believers understand this. And if you're hearing this truth for the first time today, I implore and I beg you, as the scriptures beg you, to turn to Christ, repent of your sin, turn your life around, be willing to forsake all of these worldly, futile, empty-minded, foolish things, and set your mind on things above.

This new life in Christ is amazing. It provides security for the soul. It provides heaven as your home. It provides a Paraclete — the Holy Spirit — as a helper, as a guide through life. It provides a nurturing Father who loves you through thick and through thin and who will never abandon you no matter what happens in your life. It provides for you true knowledge and true truth. It provides for you meaningfulness in life. If you've ever lived with meaninglessness, it's the emptiest feeling ever — as if you are out to sea with no way back, no rescuer. I don't want anybody to have to live through meaningless days. I want everyone here to have life in Christ and have meaningful days, to be able to utilize your words to change lives, lead people to Christ, to mature the brethren, and have purpose for every single day.

Every single day God gives you new mercies that are new every morning. This is such an amazing benefit — to have been saved and to be in the family of Christ. And so those of you who are saved, I, like the Apostle Paul, as a lesser one speaking to higher ones — hear my humble plea: commit to Christ fully and you'll never regret it. Put aside these old sinful things that weigh you down, whether it's a state of mind or a motive of the heart or an unhealthy habit. Put it aside, and little by little put on the new man, the new Christian, new ways. "Seek first the kingdom of heaven and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."

Your life in Christ is so rich. The Ephesian letter is purposed to be able to explain to you the blessings — the blessings are insurmountable, the wonders that are in Christ. You can be in awe of Christ every single day. Every-day drudgery is for lost people, but having motivation in Christ and meaningfulness starts with living purposefully with your words, with your hearts, with your minds, with your actions, utilizing your gift to serve Christ. This is where life more abundant and truly free is — not just being saved, but life in Christ.

Let's pray together. Father, we do love You, and we thank You for this encouraging passage, where we can be affirmed in our spiritual growth. And I pray, dear Lord, as You have continued to guide us step by step by step in our next step to gain closeness with You — if anyone here is not saved, I pray that they would simply embrace the sorrowfulness that comes with comprehending that their sin put You on the cross, and that they would repent of their sin and tell You that they're sorry, and that they would be saved. Here, Jesus — save souls, and help us to live a life in You.

I pray, Father, that as souls are saved, they would follow through with being obedient to Your word and be biblically baptized, as so many already have done. And not only baptized, dear Jesus, but they would heartfully and wholeheartedly study what it is to be a member of a local church, and choose — if not this church — a church that handles the word of God correctly, that they can invest their life in a local church, Your first plan for salvation and sanctification, dear Jesus.

And I pray, Lord, as well, that they would not only be saved and baptized and belong to a local church, but they would dedicate time each week to study Your word, to rightly divide it, to know You more, to draw closer to You by studying You and Your word, to be filled with Your word, to be overwhelmed with Your presence, to be in awe of Your majesty, to comprehend You more and more and more as the days go by, until we get a glorified body and mind to understand You more fully.

Father, I pray that You would give inside of us an insatiable desire to study Your word, to serve the membership, to reach the lost. Father, I pray that You would give us the ability to set aside the old sins and the old habits one by one by one, and take on the new self, and put this spiritual growth strategy into practice little by little by little. In a short amount of time it will go a long way spiritually.

Father, Your will for each one will be accomplished. You have already succeeded. You are no failure. No will and purpose and plan of Yours can be thwarted. So we give You praise and honor and glory for the victory that we have in Christ already. And God, for those who are perhaps in need of salvation — save them, I pray. Those who are in need of growing in their sanctification — motivate them, dear Jesus — whether in a way that they are able to not only grow themselves but to motivate others through an affirming sentence, through an affirming look, through a handshake or a hug, or time invested in others.

I pray, Father, You'd help us to give ourselves to ministry, to using our gifts to serve You and minister to one another, which is ultimately ministering unto You, Lord. It's a sacrifice. It's an offering. It's a wonderful life. Thank You, dear Jesus, for setting forth this example of the Ephesian church who is being enriched in You. I pray that we've been encouraged by this. It's in Christ's name that we do pray. Amen.