Willing Wives

Take your Bibles, if you would please, and turn to Ephesians chapter 5, Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22. And the duties for the husbands and wives seem to be scattered throughout the Bible. Perhaps that's by God's intention to help us to study and search around in the Scriptures for how we are to be. And this message today will equip the wives and the husbands. It'll also equip those who are soon to be married. We have some who are engaged. And then also for our young ones who were growing up and will be married one day, not only today's message but the next few messages will help prepare you for a dynamic marriage. And then as well for those of you who are single, this is a very important message for you as well because all of God's Word needs to be taught.

And it's impressive to see in the Word of God how if you have the gift of celibacy, that you have been then made complete in Christ, which is the entire theme of the book of Colossians. And so if you are complete in Christ, then you would recognize that you have that gift and that you don't have the desire. And so that is something that is some form of relief for those who are young and are not married yet, who may fear, "Has God called me to celibacy?" Well, that's not the case if you have the desire to be married. So be at ease.

And also, I'd like to put you at ease as well for the wives because this is not a demeaning message in Ephesians 5:22 where we come today. It's an uplifting and an esteemed message. And so today should be enjoyable.

So let's read the Scripture together starting in Ephesians 5:21 and then read to the end of the chapter as the subject of submission flows through all of these areas of life. In Ephesians 5 and verse 21, it says, "Being subject to one another in the fear of Christ, wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all of her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I'm speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."

May the Lord add His blessings to the reading of His Word. Today's text is found in verse 22 where it says, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord."

And as we go verse by verse and concept through concept through God's Word, I'd like to up front — it's good for a preacher to figure out why he's preaching that particular message. What is it for? What is he preaching for? What does the message accomplish? And in that for today, just a preaching tip for those of you who are preachers and teachers, I'd like to offer to you that you need to see the negative results of not applying the message clearly. You need to see that, you need to own that. That'll give you conviction. That'll push you through the entire message. And as well, what are you preaching for? What are you hoping to accomplish?

And in this particular message, two things stand out among many others, which I'll mention to you. Number one is God's glory not being diminished. I'm preaching today on the purposes of verse 22 being that God's glory would not be diminished in any way, but be intensified and increased. And then secondly, I'm certainly preaching for the next generation in that their marriages would not be dysfunctional, but they would be biblical. So I'm preaching to the young people here today as well as those who are married so that their future marriages would be biblical filled with joy.

Now in this message, you'll also see not only the glory of God needing to be enhanced, Ephesians 5:27, but also the reputation of God's Word is at stake in today's message. The message, the meaning, the application, the purpose for which verse 22 is in the Bible means that God's Word will either be reverenced or disrespected or dishonored. Not only that, I'm preaching for marital unity. I'm preaching for marriages to be strengthened and not weakened. Ephesians 5:31 sees that two become one and as this oneness is a mystery, it takes effort, self-sacrifice, intentionality, it takes unity in order to do that. So I'm also preaching lastly for wives to be filled with the Holy Spirit and not the flesh. It's so easy, especially for husbands to act out in the flesh, but it's just equally as easy for wives to act out in the flesh. And I'm preaching today that we might all be filled with the Holy Spirit, especially the wives as we are talking in verse 22, which says, "Wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord."

Now we all collectively believe in sound doctrine and all the doctrines of the Bible, especially the inspiration of Scripture in that God's Word is from Him through men to us. We also believe in the authoritativeness of Scripture and that the Bible has complete rule and authority over our lives and not one verse is to be removed. We also believe in the infallibility of Scripture and that there is no flaws in God's complete and pure Word. It's also inerrant, pure and flawless. It's sufficient for our life. It's enough for our life. We need no other manual. We have a book. We have the Bible. We have God's Word.

And so as you prepare for marriage, especially those of you who are not married yet, I would say to you, praise God for the time to prepare to be married, to refine who you are in Christ, because you're going to need every ounce of what the Scriptures say about who you are in Christ to be able to be married. There's enough struggle in becoming one as is, as opposed to you conforming to Christ. And so the more you are like Christ, the better your marriage will be. And we also believe that this is the Word of God from Genesis to Revelation, the complete canonicity of the Bible. It is perfect and that the Holy Spirit illuminates truth to us by His perfect ministry.

I want to give you just to start off with six words that describe submitting, six words to help you to understand what the Bible has to say about the word subject or submitting. And remember, as we read already in our introductory Scripture reading in John chapter 15 and verse 10, it says that our complete joy is from following His commands. And so the end result of following these types of commands are going to be resulting in a complete joy, not a diminished joy in your life and marriage.

And so the first word that I'd like to give to you is fulfilling. Submitting is fulfilling. In 1 Corinthians 11:9, man was not created for woman's sake, but woman for man's sake. That is 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and verse 9, "For indeed man was not created for woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake." For goodness sake, men need women. Wives, I should say, their wife and it completes them. It is fulfilling them. Not only that, but the church cannot fulfill God's will without submitting to Christ. And it's the same for the wife. The wife cannot fulfill her divine purpose without submitting to her husband. In fact, the wife will blossom from this seed truth.

The second word I'll give to you is yielding. Submitting is yielding. And you may say, "Truly? Does it say that?" Yes, it does. Not only here, but three times wives are instructed to submit to their husband's priorities and his authority in the text. And then also, it is also mentioned in four other books, 1 Corinthians, Colossians, 1 Timothy, and Titus. Yielding. Submitting is not only fulfilling, but it is yielding.

And it is also — a third word for you — beginning. It's from the beginning. This is God's original design. He didn't have a hiccup and rethink things, and He didn't mess up here. He nailed it the first time. And so Godly submission is rooted in creation, 1 Corinthians 11:7–12. And it is then therefore illustrated by Sarah's gentle and quiet spirit before Abraham, 1 Peter 3:4–6. This is not only stated, but illustrated. So it's fulfilling, yielding, from the beginning.

And this next one is rather interesting. As you study the word submission, you'll see that it is evangelizing. Submitting is evangelizing. This is great. So Godly submission of wives is so important that perhaps if they are married to an unbeliever, that by their submissive and quiet and wonderful Godly character, that unbelieving husband may be perhaps won to Christ. And so, doing so, it may win the unbelieving husband to Christ, 1 Peter 3:1 says. And my heart goes out to any ladies who are in that particular position. This is a high calling of sacrificial love, and you can stay married for as long as you possibly can scripturally and be very aware of the scriptural points to which divorce is allowed. It's not forced. And so that is evangelizing. Submitting is evangelizing.

And also, submitting is completing. Completing. It's completing of the husband. It completes the purpose, not only for the husband, also for marriage. And so to submissively pour yourself, wives, into your husband completes Genesis 2:24, where two become one. This is so very important to understand the value in submission. Not only that, it makes two complete. Without your submission, he's incomplete. Without your submission, the two are not complete in Christ. And so, how do you know if you have then the gift of celibacy? I mentioned already, you feel complete. You're okay without a spouse.

And I want you to understand today's message so that you can continue to expound upon God's beautiful illustration, this mystery called marriage. The last word that I'd like to share with you before moving on is submitting is glorifying. It's glorifying. 1 Corinthians 11:7 says this, "For a man ought not to have his head covered since he is the image and the glory of God, but the woman is the glory of man." And so this idea is glorifying in many ways. It's glorifying to God, glorifying to the husband, glorifying to yourself. And so then you can say, not submitting to God's design robs Him of His due glory. This is 1 Corinthians 11:7 and other passages.

So these six words: fulfilling, yielding, beginning, evangelizing, completing, and glorifying. As you go through, back to Ephesians chapter 5, the entire context is rich with the roles of the wife and the roles of the husband. And to rattle these off, I would dare say it would take a professional to keep up with these notes on this page. So listen if you would and perhaps go back to the tape and write them down if you would like, or just go through the text yourself. But I've categorized this whole section for which I've read in these two ideas: willing wives and courageous husbands. Willing wives and courageous husbands. This exemplifies Christ and His bride. This is exemplary for Christ and His bride.

And so willing wives and courageous husbands. Listen fast as I try to talk fast. In verse 22, willing wives are to be submissive. And in verse 22, it also means that courageous husbands are to lead your wife as Christ leads the church. And then in verse 23, willing wives recognize headship in the home. And then in verse 23 as well, courageous husbands are to embrace male headship like Christ is the head of the church. In verse 24, willing wives are to be subject to the husband as to Christ. But in verse 23, it also means that courageous husbands are to embrace male headship like Christ is the head of the church. In verse 25, willing wives will let your husbands love you and give of himself to you. Which also means in verse 25 that courageous husbands will authentically love and give yourself up for her, which is a reference to the cross and how Christ gave Himself up for us. In verse 26, willing wives are to let him read and teach the Word to you. And then also that means that husbands courageously then step into the role of reading the Word to your wife and your family and leading her in dealing with sin and sanctification. In verse 27, willing wives will be shown how to be more holy and become more and more blameless. And then as well, courageous husbands are to think futuristically about making her as holy and blameless as possible because she will stand before Jesus and you have a part in that.

In verse 28, willing wives are to be cared for by your husband like Christ cares, like the husband cares for himself. And then as well, that means that courageous husbands will care for her like you care for your own body. And in verse 29, willing wives are to be nourished and cherished by their husband and not to be self-sufficient or independent, which means husbands are to nourish their wives in all areas and to cherish her above your hobbies and friends and such and everything. In verse 30, willing wives are to be united as inseparable members of each other. And that also means that courageous husbands will yield yourself to becoming one with her. And then in verse 32, it means that willing wives are to embrace the mystery, these mysterious truths by faith wholeheartedly, not reserving yourself in any way, which also means that the husband is to embrace this mystery wholeheartedly as well. And in verse 33, the willing wife is to respect her husband and to keep him in high esteem, never disparaging his character, which also means the husband is to be respectable so that she can easily show him respect and not be tempted to disparage his character.

So I say this quickly so that you can see that the role of the wife and the role of the husband is equally demanding and then therefore dependent upon being filled with the Holy Spirit. As you go back to Ephesians chapter 5 verse 18, it says to be filled with the Holy Spirit. And as being filled with the Holy Spirit enables you then to be speaking and thinking and respecting and everything as the passage unfolds, that enables you to be able to do all of these things, which eventually gets to the role of the wife submitting to her husband and the role of the husband to the wife.

Now this is not a one-off. Perhaps you've heard Ephesians 5:22, "Wives be subject to your own husbands," more than the rest of the passage, but let me bring it into equal balance so that you hear it within context. Please listen for the theme as I have extracted it and will place more emphasis upon it as I go back through this passage. In verse 21, it says, "In the fear of Christ." In verse 22, it says, "As to the Lord." Verse 25, it says, "Just as Christ." And chapter 6 verse 1, it says, "In the Lord." And chapter 6 verse 4, it says, "In the discipline and instruction of the Lord." In verse 5, it says, "As to Christ." In verse 6, it says, "As slaves of Christ." In verse 7, it says, "As to the Lord." In verse 10, it says, "Finally be strong in the Lord." It's not hard to pick up on the theme, folks — it is Christ and Christ alone.

And so this command in verse 22 for wives to be subject — look at it in your own Bibles — to your own husbands, is within the context of "as to the Lord," which is within the greater context of also husbands and also children and also fathers and also slaves. This is for wives, husbands, children, fathers, slaves, everyone. So the word submit may be a secular landmine if you step on it or speak about it, but I'm telling you it is not a biblical landmine, it is a biblical pathway to Christ. It is a biblical pathway to complete joy in Christ. All of Christ is waiting for you as you submit fully.

Secular feminists such as Kamala Harris, Beyoncé, Hillary Clinton, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Jane Fonda, AOC, and the rest, they don't have Christ. So listen to me. Do not listen to them. Listen to the Word of God and formulate a biblical worldview for marriage. Don't listen to all of the YouTube shorts and all the Twitter feeds. Don't listen to them because as you are listening you are formulating a worldview on how you think and how you live. You know, it's even been said that we visit books but live in the Bible. You visit other books about the Bible. You go and see what Charles Spurgeon has to say. Go and see what the Reformers have to say, but live and dwell and think and refine your life according to the Word of God.

And you should know that as you listen to secular information that we are not infallible, we are in fact fallible. If you listen to what the world has to say over and over and over again it will affect you. That's just being human. And so in wisdom, saturate yourself not with what these pagans have to say about marriage. They don't even believe in marriage. It's convenient for them and sometimes it's inconvenient for them and they act like they're married, or they call it whatever. They don't even know. This is an in-Christ thing. This is normative for Christianity and it is strange for pagan culture.

And so this in verse 21 — which we started with the idea of subjection — is a general admonition for all of us to mutually submit to one another, to put others' needs before your own. So as a Christian, verse 21 says, to be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. And so this idea of submission then therefore goes down to a more specific application. So from the general, where wives now — not everyone, but now to the wives — are to be subject to their own husband. Puritan commentator John Trapp states of verse 21 that this general admonition to all falls under the fifth commandment of order. Order. And so the fifth commandment found in Exodus 20:12 states this, "Honor your father and mother, that your days may be prolonged." That is an orderly household and so his observation of this commandment falls underneath household order. I completely agree.

Orderliness starts with the idea of submission. You're submitting to God. Now you're in order. You've fallen in line. And then as you submit to God it branches out and it continues with proper submission in marriage. And then from there it branches out even farther. Orderliness continues farther with submission within the home, children and parents. And then from there orderliness continues in the church. 1 Corinthians 14:40 says that all things must be done in proper order. And so orderliness within the church — there is a structure within the church for which God calls orderly. And then beyond that, orderliness continues even farther with submission at work. As we continue to go through this text you'll see slaves or employees are to be subject and submissive to their bosses. And that is orderliness. And then as well orderliness continues nationally. So think of you and your heart submitting to God and then it is branching out in all areas of life. And obviously we obey the government, Romans chapter 13, until they double-cross the Scriptures. Amen. And so we obey God and defy tyrants.

Being orderly brings God glory. Isaiah chapter 6 and verse 3 says, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts. The whole earth is full of His glory." And when you see orderliness, whether it's in a marriage, a home, a church, a business, or even a country, it's more glorifying to the Lord. And if you've ever been to a country that is complete chaos, you know the exact opposite of what glorifies God. If you've ever made a home visit as a pastor to a marriage in crisis with the kids witnessing a nasty fight, you see the exact opposite of what is glorifying to the Lord. And so disregarding God's order is dishonoring to the Lord, especially when it comes to the wife being subject to her husband.

Turn to Titus chapter 2 verse 5. Titus chapter 2 verse 5 goes so far as to say that disorderliness or disrespecting the husband from the wife means that she is dishonoring God's Word. I'd like to start reading with you in Titus chapter 2 verse 3 and build up to verse 5. Titus chapter 2 and verse 3 says, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips or enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good so that they may instruct the younger women in sensibility to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, and being subject to their own husbands so that" — and you who are here who have been here for quite a long time know that my favorite two words in the Bible are "so that" — "the Word of God will not be slandered or dishonored or blasphemed," depending on which translation you have.

And so all of these things — listen to me, young ladies, listen to me, young ladies, listen to me, young ladies — examine this passage. Highlight it in pink or purple, whatever you want to do. Look up every single word, own it, really, really get a grip on this passage and that way you can honor God in His Word and be glorifying Him.

The word subject is to arrange your life under another. And so if you're single you're being subject to God, you're arranging your life under another. The way you're a member of the local church, you're arranging your life underneath the trustworthy and qualified eldership of the church. And if you're married, the wife is arranging her life underneath her husband, and that is to be subordinate and to yield.

Now, Plato, Aristotle, even Josephus had a different idea of what a biblical idea of a wife submitting meant. Plato argued that the home should be ruled by the stronger husband and the weaker wife is to be ruled. Aristotle, he taught and required husbands to rule his wife and the wife is to submit to her husband — their words — and I quote, "This, however, imbalanced and even unbiblical philosophy portrayed women in these days inferior." And in fact, the women were to express their inferiority. Go figure. Jewish historian Josephus even claimed that women are inferior to their husbands and ought to obey in all things, quote unquote.

However, I bring to you today the more educated Apostle Paul, the one who was underneath the inspiration of Scripture when he brings women to an elevated state of equal value. In a culture where women were devalued, the Scriptures are raising the wives and raising the women into a state of equal value. This is the Apostle Paul's biblical position, and it starts in Genesis chapter 1 verse 27 which establishes that males and females have been equally made in the image of God. So they possess equal value. Genesis 1:27 says, "In the image of God He created him male and female."

And so, if you want the point for today's message, it is this: willing wives are called to a higher degree of dignity. Willing wives are called by the Scriptures, they're called to a higher degree of dignity. So rather than the wife living under Roman culture, she is now to step up to live as to the Lord. Isn't that great? So verse 22 is lifting women up as to the Lord. So the Greco-Roman culture devalued wives and pushed them aside and now Christianity is valuing wives and pulling them in — in Christ and pulling them in with their husband. This is a higher degree of dignity which is to be bestowed upon the wife. So husbands are to esteem the wives highly and to talk about their high sense of dignity and to encourage and to love them publicly and privately with equal value. And then as well this higher degree of dignity is not only bestowed upon a wife but it is expected, and so the wife is then therefore to increase her dignity, to increase her behaviors by not being ashamed to submit to her husband but be confident and happy in that and secure in this biblical worldview.

And so these higher degrees of dignity both for the husband's character and the wife's character flew in the face of Roman philosophy. Seriously, Christians were the odd ducks. They were the strangers. They were the weird people. In fact, the Romans would say, "Do not become a Christ follower. Their homes are disorderly. Their homes are wacky and weird." They're separate, they're peculiar people. These are all biblical words, by the way, so Christians were viewed as strange, 1 Peter 2:11. They were viewed as separate, 2 Corinthians 6:17. They were a peculiar people, 1 Peter 2:9. And so Romans thought that Christians had the dysfunctional families and encouraged people not to become Christians.

However, I bring to you some biblical facts. Here are some great things for wives and for women to know: that they have equal access to God. Wives and women have equal ability spiritually. They're not inferior. In fact, Numbers chapter 6 verse 2 states that both men and women can take the Nazirite vow, which is the highest vow of Christian commitment in that day. Also, wives and women have equal protection under God's law. Exodus 21:28 says, "If an ox gores a man or a woman, then the results are to follow by punishing the ox and the family who owns it." Wives and women also have equal blessings as we have covered already in Ephesians chapter 1 verse 3, "who has blessed us." And so all of the Christians there in the church at Ephesus have equal blessings, "who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places." And then wives and women also have equal value by God's original design. In a phrase it's this: equal value, different roles. Equal value, different roles. And you see that all throughout Scripture.

And I'd like to mention as well by way of a side note, in Romans chapter 16 Paul gives a lot of credit for those who have been fellow workers with him in the ministry of evangelism and church planting, and a third of those who are listed in Romans chapter 16 are women.

Now, as you continue to think about the word "subjection" and how it flows through this whole context — Christians to everyone, wives to husbands, children to parents, slaves to master — and then impacting the world, this idea of submission flows through these ideas as a link that is connected not only to being filled with the Holy Spirit but also to glorifying Christ. And so Christ being the theme, submission being the main idea that flows through these ideas, ultimately then we submit to Christ in all areas of life.

Now, modern liberals, they would argue that the word "submit" is not in verse 22. Look at it with me. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22: "Wives be subject." Now, if you have a word-for-word translation such as a Legacy Standard Bible or ESV or NASB, something like that, you may notice that the word "subject" is in italics, which means it's not in the original Greek manuscript. Uh-oh. Do we have a problem as Christians? That word is not originally there. No. We don't have a problem at all. This verb is supplied in the sentence above: "Being subject one to another in the fear of Christ, wives be to your own husbands as to the Lord." And so the verb is supplied in the previous sentence. There's no period in the original Greek at the end of verse 21. Remember that even in the original manuscripts there are no verses, no chapter breaks, no paragraphs. These types of things are here for our help. And so, to some extent, there is a bit of disservice in seeing a chapter break and a period at the end.

And so I would say to the modern liberals who try to say, "Ha! I gotcha. The word submit is not in that verse. Wives don't have to submit," and make a case for feminism — I would just simply say, "I guess you missed Colossians 3:18 where the verb is supplied: 'Wives be subject to your husbands.'" Or, "You missed 1 Peter 3:1: 'Wives be submissive to your own husbands.'" Or, "You missed Titus chapter 2 verse 5 where we talked about wives being submissive to their own husbands." And so this command is here.

You have to ask yourself, "Why? Why is it here?" Well, all the way back from the beginning we see that part of the curse of sin makes women want to rule their husband. And so, not only do you have the results being played out in the marriage, but you also have it being played out in the church. In 1 Timothy 2:9–15, it says, "I do not allow a woman to exercise authority over a man." And then in 1 Corinthians 14:34, it says, "Women are to keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak, but learn from husbands at home, for it is improper for a woman to speak in church."

You say, "Hmm, how does that make any sense? Are they supposed to close their lips?" Not at all. You know, coming up pretty soon in March, the 2nd, we're going to have the Lord's Supper together and we'll have a fellowship meal afterwards, and Elder David Parker is going to speak. Follow the context. He's going to be speaking that day. And so, within the context of the verses here in 1 Timothy and 1 Corinthians, women are not to speak. So David Parker will be speaking from the Scriptures authoritatively to the entire church on the things of God. And so, women are not permitted to be the keynote speakers. They're not supposed to preach corporately. They are supposed to preach and teach to other women and children, but not corporately. And so, don't misunderstand the context. Remember another hermeneutical rule: context is king. As you read these perhaps problematic verses, all you have to do is do a little bit of contextual work and see that this is within the idea of a worship service in church. And so, this does not prohibit women from talking in church or even teaching other women and kids.

This is also a logical, orderly outflow of how from the beginning women have this desire to rule over their husbands and now are to be brought into orderliness. And so, we have this in Genesis chapter 3 and verses 1 to 3, which talks about how Eve was talking to the serpent. You might ask, "Why was she doing that?" And then in verses 4 to 5, she's listening to Satan. And then verse 6, she's obeying Satan. It goes downhill real fast. And then in verse 9, God calls Adam first and holds him accountable. Though Eve was sinning, God calls Adam to account. And then verse 12, Adam blames God for giving Eve to him. I thought to myself, "Man, you know, we always blame Eve for playing the blame game." But Adam did too.

And now, notice also that God holds Eve accountable in verse 13. And then there's increased pain in giving birth to children. And then the point of reason why we're in Genesis chapter 3 verse 16 is that not only will you have pain in childbirth, but your desire will be for your husband. And so, why are the commands for wives to submit? Because Eve's sin is the perpetual result that women will desire to rule their husbands, which disrupts God's created order for marriage in the home and His glory.

So while Paul is reshaping for the Ephesian church the wives from inferiority, now we in our culture have a different job. The pendulum has seemingly swung too far in the other direction. So Paul had to work to bring women up to equal value. But in our culture, it seems that we need to do some reshaping of the worldview that wives should have superiority. So now it's gone from inferiority to superiority. So now we need that biblical balance, to where we have this logical order.

And so, what is appropriate then for this context? What is appropriate for the church to submit to Christ? That's the answer. What's appropriate for the wife to submit to her husband? That's the definition. And just by way of a note, husbands do not have absolute authority like Christ has absolute authority. So it's going to require just a little bit of defining on what it means to submit appropriately.

Turn to 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 7. 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 7 gives us the parameters for which the weaker vessel — the wife — is to submit. And it is not absolute obedience like we are to Christ. Remember that I have shown you that within the context of "in Christ, in Christ, in Christ, in Christ, in the Lord, in the Lord, in the Lord," this command for wives to submit to their husbands is "as to the Lord." It's the same as husbands, it's the same as children, it's the same for employees.

And so in verse 7 it says — chapter 3 verses 1 to 7 talk about the whole subject, but just in verse 7 it says — "You husbands in the same way live with your wives in an understanding way as with the weaker vessel since she is a woman, to show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so your prayers will not be hindered." Now, what is honoring? That is the definition of how you are to submit. What is mutual? If you look at the text, those two words help you to understand the context for which women are to submit to their husbands. What is honoring and what is mutual?

And so now if you would take it and as husbands say, "Okay, I want to honor my wife," and if the wife would honor her husband, and then what is mutual? What have you discussed? What arrangements do you have? And so notice that this doesn't get down to the details of who does the dishes and who does the laundry or who mows the grass. There are plenty of men and women who like to do both or neither, and it's okay depending on what their mutual agreement is.

And so I want you then to think theologically on this subject, and as I run through this again theologically, you can hear this through verse 22 in Ephesians 5:32, which is talking about Christ and the church. The greater theme here is Christ, the main idea being submission, running through the whole thing, the illustration being Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:32 says, "This mystery is great, but I'm speaking with reference to Christ and the church." And so from verses 22 down to 32 is to be interpreted with reference to Christ and the church, and this is a dual train of thought, and I want to give it to you.

Firstly, theologically, Christians live subordinately to Christ, and marriage pictures that. And so wives live subordinately to their husband in marriage. Secondly, Christians have Christ for their head, and marriage pictures that. And then as well, wives have their husband as the head — marriage pictures that. And Christians are secure in Christ. They've been saved. And the Bible in verse 23, Ephesians chapter 5 verse 23, talks about how the husband is head of the wife, as Christ also is head of the church, He being the Savior of the body. And so what does it mean, how does this theologically correlate to the wife being secured by the husband? Well, certainly she is secure in her husband as the husband's role is to create that safety net of security and to continue to wash her in the Word.

Christians then as well live completely under Christ, and so wives live completely under Christ in marriage. Christians are sacrificially loved by Christ, and then therefore wives are sacrificially loved by their husband. And then Christians are sanctified by the Word of Christ, which also means wives are sanctified by the Word of Christ and, Lord willing, by the husband's teaching the Word of Christ in the homes as well. And then Christians glorify Christ, as wives glorify the husband. And Christians are closely cared for by Christ, and wives are closely cared for and nourished and cherished by their husband. And Christians belong to Christ, as the wife belongs to the husband, but also the husband belongs to the wife.

And so this is just a logical theological understanding of verses 22 down to 31, and this is a mystery. So marriage roles, positions, security, submission, love, holiness, care, belonging, and oneness illustrates to some degree husband and wife, which is the Christ-and-the-church illustration.

And so to the husbands who have found an excellent wife, Proverbs chapter 12 and verse 4 says this, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband." And the excellency here is referred to character, Godly character. In the Hebrew it refers to strength and might of character and it even implies efficiency as well. The crown is a wreath and the Jews thought that was a sign of kingly power and ability, which then applies to the ability and the gladness of the wife. And so I would say to us, it takes decades and decades to refine our character. And if our marriages can be increased in any way, it means that we will be becoming more and more like Christ.

I want to give you some simple take-home truths to the text today. And number one, women have a high calling. Women have a high calling. This is a high calling for Christian dignity and for you to apply these biblical themes means that you will be counter-cultural. You will be different, you'll be strange, but God will honor that because the end result is your completeness and fullness of joy. And so your partnership with and counsel to the husband is a high calling. Husbands, you know you need your wife. We do not know it all. In fact, we could really step into it big time and step off the cliff and cause a lot of problems without the Godly counsel of our wives. Oftentimes the intellect and the ability and the discernment of our wives saves us from making tragic mistakes. So wives have a high calling to be ones who are partners with their husband and who counsel with their husband.

And then as well, a legacy — Lord willing, if you have children — a legacy of leaving Godly children, this is a high calling to leave a legacy of Godly children. So your dignity in that means a lot. Believe me, believe me, your dignity matters to those around you, especially your children. So much is taught, but you know where the taught is actually applied is when it's caught, when they see it lived out. If they see your dignity, wives, if your children see your dignity in God being lived in these ways, then they too believe that it's real and they want that too. And so it's taught and caught and it is applied when both of them come together.

Number two, remain under God's Word. John 17:17 says, "Sanctify them in the word, Your word is truth." And so if you would just simply remain underneath God's Word and not become an independent authoritarian of your own self and your own body, but you are under the Word of God, that means you're going to remain underneath the Word of God. So number one, women have a high calling. Number two, remain under God's Word.

Number three, it's from Genesis — don't be domineering. Don't be domineering. Submit, line up under. Remember that from the curse, from original sin, the result of it — you will want to dominate and control the situation and speak for him or get in front — all of those types of things that remain independent. But as you reel your Godly character in, you will be in alignment with your husband. And these things are harmonious and you're working together as a team. And so God's sovereign wisdom is this, that men are to lead and wives are to follow. And in God's sovereign order, God is the head of Christ, 1 Corinthians 11:3. Christ is the head of man, 1 Corinthians 11:3. And man is the head of woman, 1 Corinthians 11:3. 1 Corinthians 11:3 gives us this Godly order.

And then number four, esteem these things. Ladies, if you do not esteem this, nobody's going to believe it. If you don't speak highly of these Christian values and actually teach the next generation these things, then it's not going to land. Your duty, according to Titus chapter 2 verse 3, is to teach what is good. Teach what is good. You have to esteem these things. You may say to yourself, "I live them and I believe them." But the Bible's calling you to actually teach them. And so collectively, our children especially see very good examples around here of Godly marriages. But I would also say to you, say what the Bible says. Mothers, wives, say what the Bible says. Teach it. Embrace it. And so when you have the opportunity to esteem this and teach the next generation, not only is it going to be taught, but it's also going to be caught. And that authenticity matters.

It's been said that the single cause of atheism in the world today is hypocrisy. And so we all see that the divorce rate within the church is perhaps the same as in the secular world, if statistics are right. We need Godly women and mothers esteeming these things and saying, "This is better. This is going to be better, more joyous. This is the way that God intends for you to be happy in your marriage." And the more you speak to it, and the better you formulate these ideas for the next generation, you will save years and years and years of turmoil in these upcoming marriages if you do your due diligence to do what Titus chapter 2 verse 5 says. Teach these things. Teach what is good within the context, obviously, of submitting to your husband, which is in the text.

And so husbands, wives, listen to me. Husbands need to hear you teach these things. You ask yourself, "Why? Is that for real?" Yes, it is. Husbands need to hear the wives esteem highly these things. Do you want to know why? It's because leadership is voluntary. A husband cannot force his wife to submit. Your submitting to your husband is voluntary. And so he needs to hear that he is being put in his proper role and then step up and do it. So not only is this a high calling for wives, boy is this a high calling for men and husbands to be courageous. So leadership is granted. Husbands need to hear the wives saying and esteeming these wonderful things.

And number five, be easily loved. Verse 25 says, "Husbands, love your wives." And so wives, be easily loved. Don't hold yourself back in ways that cause a division in the marriage. And so this is something for wives to live in — a submissive and wonderful and humble and lovable and teachable way. And so defensiveness and irritability, they prove that you're unwilling. Willing wives are easily loved. Husbands aren't perfect. Wives aren't perfect. We're all imperfect, but we forgive as we have been forgiven the Bible says. And as we live with this constant attitude of love and grace and forgiveness, then we will be easily loved by the other. We don't make things hard on each other.

And fifthly and lastly, speak highly of your husband. In verse 33 it says that the wife is to respect her husband. And this word respect is reverence. It actually means to be in awe of. And believe it or not, men need this as well. Husbands really need this. There's a lot of husbands that live very depressed in their marriage inwardly. There's a lot of husbands that live defeated in their marriage. There's a lot of husbands that are not reverenced or respected, or they don't even feel like their wives look up to them in any way. And so wives can cheer on their husbands in a submissive way, in a wonderful way, to esteem them as well. And so this is so mutual when it comes to loving and respecting each other.

And I hope this has been edifying for you. And my concluding statement is this: at the end of the day, husbands need to understand the wise counsel of their submissive wives. Husbands make the final call under God. And after genuine consideration and prayer together with their wives as a co-equal partner, then he leads in unity. So my best mental energies to summarize: in unity, he leads. In unity, he leads. So don't do anything, husbands, outside of your wife's counsel. Don't surprise her. Don't make a surprise purchase or a surprise trip. Talk with her. Love her and make it easy for her to submit to your place of authority, to be able to lead. And your leadership is voluntary. And as you do these things biblically and as your character is becoming more Christ-like, she will have no problem at all loving you in these ways. And this is harmonious. This is God's order of things.

And if you think that this was tough at all for the wives, husbands come next week. The tall order for husbands is coming and I tremble at how high of a calling it is to be the head of a household.

Let's pray together. Lord, we love You and thank You for today. I want to ask You for Your help to help us to live these truths out. And if anyone here is a non-believer, may the power of Your Holy Spirit draw that lost soul under conviction, show that sinner, that lost one who is here by Your divine providence, that he or she needs to be saved by Your glorious grace. And may this dear soul bow their posture before You and say, "Lord, forgive me. I recognize that my sin is what caused You to have to die on the cross and pay a substitutionary payment for which I could not pay. Dear God, save me." I pray that that sinner would cry out to You, dear Jesus. I pray that that sinner would feel the sorrowfulness of their sin and repent of their sin and then that You by Your glorious grace, dear Jesus, would save their soul. And Father, I pray that You would go before even their confession and regenerate that soul so that they can confess, dear Jesus. The Bible says in Romans 10:9 — that if they confess — dear Jesus, help them to confess, help them to get that out from their heart to their lips in prayer. Silently, You hear all things. And I pray as well, dear Jesus, for us saints that we would be sanctified in Your Word and continue to apply these wonderful truths to our lives. God, we love You. We thank You for Your authoritative Word and we worship You in spirit and in truth and give You the glory for all things. In Christ's name, amen.