Children Obey and Honor your Parents

Take your Bibles if you would please and turn to the book of Ephesians. I'm thrilled today to bring a message to our children. All of you adults are here as well, so you will benefit — believe me. The passage speaks broadly of obedience and honor and is especially directed to our children. So all the children that are here, they get to take notes on all of our new note-taking tables. I'm so thrilled to see you seriously looking into God's Word for what to do and how you can take down the title for today's message, and that is "Children Obey and Honor." Today's title is "Children Obey and Honor," and even if you are perhaps knocking on teenager's door, or you already are a teen or a young adult, this is for you today as well. Believe me, your parents are still parenting, and then as well, parents, if your parents are alive, you are still their children as well, and so this is very, very applicable for everybody here, especially for those of us who are encouraging our parents in their parenting.

Today's message is going to be especially for you as well, and then as well, if you're not married yet and soon will have that opportunity to have a spouse and to have children, today is preparatory. To get these lessons down now — I know that I wish I would have known these things earlier in life — but our children are born without exactly having a children's manual. You have already been given this manual by God, and so in Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 to 3, read with me if you would, in regards to children obeying your parents. This instruction never grows old. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:1–3, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long in the land."

Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Father, we want to pause just for a moment and say thank you for this passage and how You are directing it towards strengthening families. I pray, dear Jesus, and say to You that it is a humble and high honor to be able to speak to children and to formulate their hearts and minds to be honoring to their parents and to You. Father, thank you for this opportunity. It's in Christ's name we pray. Amen.

It's a very high honor to speak to those who are a blank slate. They're just taking in the information and wanting to learn all that they possibly can. It's also a high honor for us to have such a one as Heidi, who is teaching our children in BeKids. Every Sunday morning she has placed hours and hours and hours into getting the text right and extracting the truth, and to be able to lead our children in how to study the Bible and find out the truth that's in the text, to live it out and to share it with others. She does this — she's not playing games with the kids in that hour. She's not jumping rope. She's not singing happy birthday. She is actually teaching our children how to study the Bible, and I'm so thrilled that here at Beulah Baptist Church we have cultivated this culture of learning and continuing in the Word of God. So it is a high honor for us to be able to do that, and for the parents it's a high honor to have children and to be able to speak truth into their lives and to formulate a life in Christ.

But for everybody — you know that you all have a part in disciple-making, especially with children. You may not have direct children here biologically, but you are a part of cultivating and shaping the hearts and minds of children because you are an example of one who worships Yahweh. The children look around and they learn how to worship God. The children look around, they learn how to listen to preaching. They look around, they learn how to have fellowship and interact respectfully. You are part of this disciple-making process, and so that's wonderful. I want you to know that there's always going to be eyes on us all the way around, especially our children.

So in the title "Children Obey and Honor," that speaks of attitude and action. And so when you look at the word obey, it is conveying to you that there is action behind this, and when it looks to honor, honor speaks of your attitude, your heart attitude. And so in your actions and attitude you're to trust your parents.

Today I want to speak to you children most especially, so that perhaps there can be some seed thoughts planted inside of your young hearts, in that you will never rebel against your parents. Perhaps today you can set the tone for the rest of your life that you would never, ever, ever double-cross God — especially — but here in the text, your parents, because the Bible says this is right. It's right in the Lord for you to obey, and so perhaps today you can know that this textual truth says this: God blesses children that fully obey their parents. He does. This is the textual truth that you find as you read through these three verses. God blesses children that fully obey, and you know, when they disobey, there's some scripture for that as well.

In Proverbs it says that sometimes learning has to go from the bottom up instead of the top down. And so you've got to make those little butt cheeks shake a little sometimes, once in a while. If they don't hear you through their ears, you've got to go through the rear. And so sometimes you've got to make them listen, grab on to them, and say, "Hear the words coming out of my mouth." And all the children have said amen — reluctantly — especially me, all right, when I was growing up. Proverbs 13:24 — in case any of you children are like, "I don't like spankings" — it's biblical. Okay, some things that are painful are biblical. Proverbs 13:24, if I would just simply summarize it: spare the rod, spoil the child. And so you know that your parents love you if they make your butt cheeks shake once in a while, and you'll grow out of that — don't worry. When you're a young adult, they no longer do that any longer. But I'm telling you, my dad used to say to me, "Why do you make me love you so much?" and I'm like, "I don't feel the love." Believe me, these things work, and so do not allow the secular psychologist to make the children the standard — their feelings and what they want to do — and you're not to do that.

Now, in the text it says, "Children, obey your parents." Children, I just want to make sure that everybody's on the same page. And I have a question for you up front. In context, in Ephesians 6:1, I want to hear the children respond to me. Is Ephesians 6:1 speaking of children in a figurative way, a literal way, or a spiritual way? Let me explain before you respond. Is the word children in context figurative? And what that means is that when God regenerates a person, He grants them repentance and faith, okay? When God saves the soul, they confess, they repent, and they're born again into the family of God as a child of God. And so that is the word children being used figuratively — they're children of God. Is that it? Or is it literal? Is this word children in context, in Ephesians 6:1, a literal representation which speaks of a person who is the age of a child or under parental authority? Or is it speaking spiritually, which is referring to spiritual training in the faith? You have children in the faith, just like Paul had Titus as a child in the faith, according to Titus 1:4, and he had Timothy as a child in the faith — he actually called them his own child. And so what's your answer, children? Is it number one, figuratively; or number two, literally; or number three, spiritually? Let's say it. Say it louder. Huh? Oh, come on, you're allowed to — at home you can be a little bit louder here. I can't hear you.

All of them? Okay, you probably got a better answer than I do. But if you said literally — yes, actual children — you got it right. But if you were to be more spiritual, you'd be like Abigail over there — yes. But it is speaking of actual children here in the text, and so all of the children here have this message especially for them.

So children are born, according to the Bible, male and female. I once saw a little YouTube clip — here recently — that boys will always be boys and girls will always be girls, and boys become fathers and girls become mothers, and all that kind of good stuff. Amen. Turn to Genesis chapter 1, verse 27. I want you to make sure that you know this from the Bible. Genesis 1:27, all the children are flipping their pages and looking all the way to the first book in the Bible. Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them, male and female." I hear you saying that He did. Now in my Bible I've got man underlined in blue — manliness, yeah — and I've got female underlined in pink — girly. Some of you may prefer purple. But there's a difference. That X chromosome determines the gender male, and the Y chromosome determines the gender to be female. God takes the X or the Y chromosome from the father, gives it to the mother, and after nine or ten months, bada-bing bada-boom, you got a baby, and that baby is going to be either a male or a female.

Look at verse 28. I want you to see that children are considered fruit in the Bible. In verse 28, "God blessed them and God said to them" — which would be Adam and Eve — "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth," and so do it, "and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves upon the earth." The first dominion mandate item is to be fruitful, and so children are fruit of their parents, which means you are looking like your parents. You have facial features like your parents. Do you represent your parents in any way, like your mommy or your daddy? Some of you look like both; some of you really look like one or the other. But you are the fruit of your parents. And so Ephesians 6:1 refers to literal children.

And then, in chapter 6 and verse 1, I want you to look at the first command. So back to Ephesians chapter 6, verse 1, and ask yourself, what is the first command? The first command is to do what? Obey your father and your mother. That is exactly right. "Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." And so obedience — here's a little bit of an English question for you — is what part of speech? Is it a noun, a verb, a conjunction, or a preposition? A noun is a person, place, thing, or idea. So is "obey" a noun? Or is it a verb, which shows action? Or is it a conjunction, a word like "but" or "nor" or "for"? Or is it a preposition, which describes the relationship between the noun and the rest of the sentence, like "on" or "through" or "inside"? So what part of speech is "obey"? Verb — which shows — what? They guys are great — it's an action word. So obedience is action. And so if you're going to obey, you've got to put what your parents said into what? Action. You actually have to do it. So to obey mom and daddy — is obedience only outward, or is it also inward? Both. Good job, Alejandro. Obedience is both an outward action and it's also an inward issue as well.

We'll learn more about that in Luke chapter 6, verse 46. Jesus addressed this. He said, "Why do you call Me Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say?" — that outward obedience but yet inward disobedience. He called them out.

Now at this point I'd like to encourage you according to Ephesians 4:14. Turn there if you would. I want you to see Ephesians 4:14, because this is important — that you don't stay children. Children are to grow up in the Lord, and they're to grow up spiritually as well as physically. In Ephesians chapter 4, verse 14, the Bible says, "So that we are no longer to be children." Now what is this talking about? Well, children, you're to grow up. Now I absolutely loved tricking my friends on the playground — that was hilarious, to see them do things that you could trick them into doing. Like, let's play hide-and-seek, and they'd run and go hide, and I wouldn't seek them. Now how many times will you fall for that trick? Once, right? So we're to grow up and not to be tricked. But to be tricked in spiritual things — look at what the text says: "So that we no longer are to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine." Doctrine is simply belief, and there's a lot of beliefs out there, a lot of people saying what they believe. But like the Bereans in Acts chapter 17, they take what has been said to the Scripture and compare it to see if it's true. And so you are to grow up, and if you are able to discern between right and wrong, then you are not being tricked. You're growing up from being a child to a young adult in the Lord, which is great.

Okay, no longer to be tricked, and carried about — not only does false doctrine trick you, but it also carries you away. You see in the text here that you're not to be carried about by every wind of doctrine. False doctrine is going to take you far away from your parents, far away from the local church, and far away from what is true and right. I want you to know that you're not to be tricked by false doctrine, and false doctrine is everywhere — it's everywhere — so be careful about what you listen to. Make sure you're listening to what your parents approve. "By the trickery of men and by the craftiness of deceitful scheming." Look in verse 15, and you see a wonderful conjunction here, don't you? "But" — speaking the truth in love. How do you not be tricked? Well, first of all, you know the truth, but you don't just know it in your heart and mind — you speak it. You stand for truth. If someone wants to lead you away from Jesus, Who is the way, the truth, and the life, you tell them, "Nope — John 14:6 says that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life." If somebody wants to trick you and lead you away from being obedient to your parents, "Nope — Ephesians 6:1 says children obey their parents." You see how you stand — by not only knowing, but also speaking. "But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects and to Him who is the head — that is Christ."

I guarantee you, children, that a lot of the parents here, a lot of the people here, will tell you, "I wish I would have done more than just known the truth when I grew up, in high school, in college, and became an adult. I wish I would have done more than just known — I wish I would have spoken up." Because it's at that point that you hold firm. It's at that point that you're like, "I am guarding my life." It's at that point that you're standing strong. You can know the truth but you can still be tricked, but if you know and start to speak, you're going to stand strong. You're not going to be tricked and carried away.

In verse 16 it says, "From whom the whole body, being joined together and held together by whatever joint supplies, according to the properly measured working of every part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love." If you're going to grow in Christ, and you're going to grow out of being a child spiritually and into being a youth — which is an overcomer — and into a father or mother in the faith — which is to be a reproducer, a reproducer in the faith who can share the gospel and make disciples — so you're growing up in your knowledge, to be able to stand firm and not be tricked, and then also to share the truth with your friends.

May I ask you a question? Are you able to articulate the gospel? And if you are, great. If you are not, then I want your parents to teach you how to share the gospel. Practice this at home. If you can articulate the gospel for yourself, then you'll do it when it matters. But if you can't talk about the death and the burial and the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ on behalf of those who would repent and believe, then you're not able to articulate the gospel. The gospel is best quoted in 1 Corinthians chapter 15, verses 1 through 4. You have the main components there — it's like steak and potatoes and some good old vegetables. Three components: the death, the burial, and the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. You repent of your sin and believe in Him — on the cross in your place, a substitutionary death for the payment that you deserve.

All right, back to Ephesians chapter 6 as we continue to explore this idea of children obeying your parents in the Lord, for this is right. So we've talked about the fact that obedience is action — right, and that has to do with the body. But obedience is also listening — that has to do with your mind. But obedience is also submitting — that has to do with the heart.

I want to talk to you about having an obedient heart. If you keep an obedient heart towards your mommy and your daddy, then the Word of God will continue to grow inside of you, and then you will not struggle with things when you get older as badly as those who are disobedient to their parents. And there's an example that I want you to see in the Bible of not struggling, if you will cultivate this heart attitude of obedience. If you look in Ephesians chapter 6, on down to verses 5 and 6, it says, "Slaves, be obedient." Okay, so when you grow up, you're going to get a job and you're going to be an employee, and employees are to be obedient to their bosses — or, textually, it would be masters. So it says, "Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters" — or your bosses — "according to the flesh, with fear and trembling." This speaks to you being obedient both in body and in heart attitude to your boss. And this starts now, children. If you have a heart of obedience towards your parents, you will also have a heart of obedience towards your bosses, and that goes a long way. Let me tell you, there are a lot of business owners, a lot of managers, a lot of people that would just love to hire a faithful and obedient employee. You will do well to cultivate a heart of obedience towards your parents now and decide, "I'm never going to rebel." So here you see that slaves — or employees — are to be obedient, and it's the same idea: that they are obedient as unto the Lord, because that's right — the same as children are to be obedient to the parents, because it is right. All right, and you see that doing and believing in the heart is part of your obedience.

So now what about your heart and your mind? Does your mind guide the heart, or does your heart guide the mind? Okay, let's think it through. Turn to Jeremiah chapter 17, verse 9. I want you to answer the question: does the mind guide the heart, or the heart guide the mind? And believe me, your feelings will be screaming loud a lot. And do you listen to those really strong feelings all the time? Do your feelings guide you in the decisions that you make in life, or is it the mind? Somebody reads 17:9 out loud for me, if you would. "The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked — who can know it?" So does the heart guide the mind, or the mind guide the heart? If you take and think about the facts of Scripture first — put the facts of Scripture first, okay — and then you think that through, it'll pull your feelings along later. Okay, so the facts of Scripture are first, and your feelings are last. All right, I want you to write down: facts, faith, feelings — 1, 2, 3. The facts of what God has said is to be first in your life.

You are to put your faith in the facts — that's second. So put your faith in the facts. This is what God has said. And then guess what — your feelings are feeble; they will follow. But picture this like a train. If your feelings are put up front, you'll have a train wreck of a life because you have yielded to your feelings. So your feelings can fool you. But children, listen to me — if you put God's Word first, and it says to obey your parents and tells you what's right and wrong, if you put that first, and then your faith — what you believe — you put that in the facts first, the facts of Scripture, and you just let your feelings be like the tail of a dog and not the head, and let them be pulled along by the facts of Scripture, you will do well. I promise you. And so: 1, 2, 3 — facts of Scripture, then your faith in that, and then your feelings will follow. And so does the mind guide the heart, or does the heart guide the mind? The mind is to guide the heart.

Proverbs 3:23 says — well, actually it's Proverbs 4:23 — "Above all else, guard your heart." Above all else. About everything, this is not a flippant statement. This is a very important statement for you to realize — that above everything, you are to guard your heart. And this fortified way of guarding your heart is important because you are not letting every wind of doctrine just penetrate your heart right away. You're not believing every wind of doctrine. If you believe everything that everybody says, you'll be an absolute mess. Guard your heart. What do you allow to come into your heart? What your parents say, what the Bible says — guard your heart. It is so important that you are guarded as to what you are listening to. Listening comes from perceiving. Perceiving of the mind seeps into the heart, and so it is right for your parents to guard what you see and what you listen to. You should not be one who has unlimited access to the evil net, children. You should not be one who has unlimited access to social media. You can call it evil media. This is very important because truth is what guides your heart. John 17:17 says, "Thy word is truth." Thy word is truth.

And so children are to obey, and think about these things. Now when it comes to obedience to your parents, the Bible says in Ephesians chapter 6, verse 1, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord." I want you to know that this is no different than everything else that has been addressed in this section. When it comes to wives, when it comes to husbands, when it comes to employees — it's all "in the Lord, in the Lord, in the Lord." And so we are all under authority. If in your rebellious heart attitude you say, "I can't wait to get out of my house and be out from underneath my parents' authority and do things my way," that is a heart of rebelliousness. Nobody is ever to be out from underneath authority, no matter who you are and no part of life. There's always going to be someone whom God has placed you underneath an umbrella of accountability and authority.

In all of this text, you see that it's right for wives to be subject to their husbands in the Lord — Ephesians 5:22 — and then for husbands to love your wives just as Christ loved the church — in the Lord — and then as well, children, obey your parents in the Lord — Ephesians 6:1 — and fathers should bring up your children in the Lord — Ephesians 6:4 — and slaves to be obedient to masters as to Christ, and then everybody is to be strong in the Lord — Ephesians 6:10. And so these commands are not suggestions. We are to be underneath authority all the time. And so children are no different — mommies and daddies, employees, and everybody. We all must obey and work from the heart. Colossians 3:23 says, "Do what you do heartily, as unto the Lord and not to men." And so as you grow up, you will have more of a conviction to be obedient from the heart, as unto the Lord, and then the benefit to your employers and the benefit to your parents will be enjoyed because of your heart of obedience. It works all the way around.

"To be well with you" — in verse 1 of chapter 6, Ephesians 6:1. Now it's going to get to the word honor. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Verse 2 says, "Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with a promise." And so this word honor refers to your attitude. Obedience is action; honor is attitude. And so in your actions and in your attitude you are to trust your parents and trust the Lord.

So notice the progression from outward obedience to obeying and honoring. This word honor is speaking of you speaking respectfully to your parents. Listen to me — do not speak badly about your parents. God hears, does He not? He will reward or punish you accordingly. Don't talk badly about your mommy and daddy. Have honor and respect for them. Remember that God likens Himself to us as a heavenly Father. And so as you respect your parents and honor them and speak — speak respectfully and reverently about your parents — you are cultivating the good habit of speaking honorably about the Lord, and honorably about Him as your Father. And you will not blaspheme when you get older and blame God when something bad happens in your life.

You hear that on television once in a while, when someone blames God and they blaspheme. Boy, it just gets to the heart really fast. And as much as that hurts your heart, believe me it hurts the heart of God even worse, when a child of God blasphemes, or they blame Jesus or blame God in a profane way. So speak highly of your parents no matter what, because you are cultivating a habit that you will always be reverent to your parents. Always be positive. When your friends are complaining about their mommy and daddy — "I can't do this, I can't do that" — all that kind of stuff, well, you push back and you say, "Well, what are they doing for you?" You've got something positive to say about your parents, and then you do the same thing. Be careful of the friends that you keep. The Bible says that bad company corrupts good character, in 1 Corinthians 15:33. Write that down — 1 Corinthians 15:33: bad company corrupts good character. Bad company corrupts good character. Don't let your friends sway you away from loving and respecting your parents. If you speak down about your parents and disrespectfully to your parents, either in their presence or abroad, believe me, it will not go well with you.

Disobedience — in the Greek, this is something that I want you to see. First of all, turn to 2 Timothy chapter 3. 2 Timothy 3. And I want you to hear in context what disobedience to your parents is coupled with. Now, if you think to yourself, "I want to be in good company" or "I want to have good friends" — okay, say you were around all of these wonderful folks at church. Would you say you are within good company? All right. Well, what if you were at a courtroom and a whole bunch of thieves and murderers were being sentenced and they're fixing to go to jail, and you're right in the middle of those who blaspheme and those who murder, those who are stealing? Would you be in good company? No. Well, when you are disobedient to your parents, I want you to see what you have placed yourself in the midst of. In 2 Timothy chapter 3, verses 1 to 5: "But know this, that in the last days, difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, blasphemers, disobedient to parents" — circle that — "ungrateful, unholy, without gentleness, without love, for good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God." Rather than loving a holy God and being holy, they absolutely love their sin and participate in it in all kinds of evil ways.

And so for yourself, when you are respectful and honoring, you are not only pleasing God, but you are placing yourselves in good company. But when you are disrespectful to your mommy and daddy — when you speak back, when you yell at them, when you do not obey in your heart attitude and you do not obey in action — you are placing yourself in the midst of very, very bad company. And you don't want to do that. You want to discipline yourself for the purposes of godliness, so that you can please God. And so no matter what, be pleasing unto your parents. The only reason why you should be disobedient to your parents is if they want to do something that's unscriptural — which is not happening at Beulah Baptist Church, I know that. So honor your parents. Be very, very, very honoring to them.

You know, I saw one young girl who said to her parents, "I did what you said." And I thought, "Whoa." Now I'm going to ask you a question. When the parents ask for a child to do something and the child responds, "I did it," is that sin? Okay, so you see that not only are they required by the Bible in Ephesians 6:1 to obey, but also to honor. So they might have done the chore, they might have taken out the trash, but if they were disrespectful in their response, they missed the mark — which is sin. Sin is missing the mark. You are to obey respectfully; otherwise it's sin. And parents, I'm going to tell you — if your child is not obeying you, spank them into alignment while you can. Set them straight and say, "If you want to be honoring to me, you're going to be honoring to the Lord. If you're going to be dishonoring to me, you're going to be dishonoring to the Lord. And if my little spankings can't get you into alignment, the Lord will." You don't want to be dealt with by God. You want to listen to your parents first.

Children, it is very important for you to have a heart attitude of obedience and to speak respectfully, and to cultivate within yourself a heart of obedience. Then as you grow up, it will characterize your life, and it'll go well with you. This disobedience in the Greek means unpersuadable — it means uncontrollable, means unleadable, unmoldable. Jeremiah chapter 18 talks about us being moldable like clay, like soft clay. Do not be hard, unmoist clay to where you cannot be shaped and fashioned and molded. If you are uncontrollable in your words, if your parents can't train you to be able to speak respectfully, your disobedience is sinning. If you are unpersuadable, unleadable, and unmoldable, if you are not underneath your parents' authority both in action and in attitude, you are living in sin and disobedience to the Lord. And this is terrifying to see — how over the course of their life, what that will lead to — because if they're disobedient to their parents as their authorities, they will be disobedient to other authorities as they grow up.

I was driving down the road with a friend of mine. He got pulled over, and man, he was so disrespectful to the police officer. And he got not only a ticket for speeding, but the police officer walked around and said, "Oh, that tail light ain't working, a tire looks a bit off," and all the way around. All of a sudden he was in a lot of trouble. And I told him afterwards, "Man, every time I get pulled over, I am respectful." "Yes, sir." Put my hands out, let him know — and a lot of times, I get off. Thank the Lord's mercy, right? But I've cultivated inside of my heart this heart attitude of obedience. This person of authority pulled me over, and I am going to comply with whatever he says he wants me to do, to the best of my absolute ability, and I'm going to be respectful. And that's honoring unto the Lord. And this starts now, as you are children working on this.

In Romans chapter 1, the Bible also characterizes disobedience to parents. Turn to Romans chapter 1. I want you to see this as well. As we're just going to take our time and cultivate our hearts to be obedient, I want you never, for the rest of your lives, to be disobedient to your parents. I want you to have a heart of obedience.

In Romans chapter 1, speaking of bad company, in verse 28 to the end of the chapter — Romans 1:28: "And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them over to an unfit mind, to do those things which are not proper, having been filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil, full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, violent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil." Now they say it — "disobedient to parents." If I was asked by you to make a list of the worst sins, to be honest with you, I don't know if I would have put "disobedient to parents." I don't know if that would have come to mind. But it is that important that you realize that you are cultivating a heart attitude now that is going to typify the rest of your life.

And so verse 31 says, "Without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful." Verse 32: "And although they know the righteous requirement of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death." Oh, I hope that a disobedient heart does not lead to death in your life, but I have seen the Lord shorten people's lives because they were so disobedient. So obedience is going to lead to it being well with you.

The scriptural pattern — back to Ephesians chapter 6 — is obedience and honor, that it may go well with you. Look with me. I want you to see this scriptural pattern for your life. Number one is obedience. Number two is honor. And then number three — well, it's going to go well with you. I want you to see this in the text. I want you to circle "obey," "honor," and "well." Verse 1: "Children, obey" — so circle the word "obey" — "children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." Verse 2: circle the word "honor" — "honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with a promise." And then verse 3: "So that it may go well with you" — circle the word "well" — "that it may go well with you." And parents, if your children have a different translation, help them circle the right word. "And that you may live long in the land."

The opposite of this is to have embraced the unbiblical pattern of life. And if you are going to be disobedient, that leads to dishonoring. So listen to me — the children who have already moved to the disgraceful stage two of being dishonoring are on a downward slope. You see that? And so now we've got to capture their hearts and turn them towards the Lord. If they have already been disobedient, and that disobedience has led to dishonoring, then what do they have in their near future? For it to go well with them, or not well?

Well, the Bible is giving a pattern of life here, and if you are obedient and then if you're honoring, it will go well with you. But "not well" in verse 3 means not doing good both externally and internally. If a child is disobedient and is also dishonoring, I guarantee you it's not going well with them in their heart and soul. I guarantee you that they are irrational, irritable. I guarantee you that their feelings are their own little idol, their own little god. I guarantee you that they are fighting in the flesh against you. I guarantee you that they are disrupted on the inside. And so we guide them in the way, the truth, and the life. And so for it to go well with you is something that is a result of obedience and honoring. But for it to not go well with you, as a result of being disobedient — God can take what is going well with you on the inside of your heart away.

It's called a lack of peace. And children, if you are experiencing a lack of peace and turmoil inside of your heart, most likely there is something off in your life when it comes to being obedient. And so the Bible says to confess your sins as you do them, right? "Confess your sins and He is faithful and just to forgive you of your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness." It's two parts — two parts of being forgiven. Not only forgiven from the punishment — okay, but also from the eternal punishment — but also from being disrupted on the inside. When you ask for forgiveness for your sin, then God cleanses you from the inside and peace is restored. And that peace is a determining factor as to whether or not you are right with God and right with others. God can give you a peace and God can take that peace away. And so if you are not at peace, then I would say be very intentional about saying, "Mom, Dad, is there something that I need to do better? Do I need to confess? Do I need to get right with you, right with God? What do you see in my life?" Get used to being led by your parents spiritually. And so obedience ultimately is a matter of the heart, and when you obey Mom and Dad and God, even in difficult times, you can have peace and stability within your soul.

Disobedient children are disobedient to the Lord. I want you to see it in Colossians chapter 3, verse 20. Turn to Colossians 3:20. I'm so thankful that all of our children here have their own Bibles and they're used to turning to Scripture. They know where the books of the Bible are and they're able to see these things, and they are learning God's Word. Disobedient children are displeasing to the Lord. Look in Colossians chapter 3, verse 20: "Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is pleasing to the Lord." And so if you say it in the positive way, if you are obedient to your parents, you are pleasing to God, and it's going to go well with you. Amen. So be pleasing to the Lord. If you want to please God in all things, be pleasing to your parents. Listen to me — be pleasing to your parents. What do they prefer you to do? Do that obediently and optimistically. Be pleasing to them. You can be obedient in action and yet disobedient in attitude. If you do not obey in action and in attitude, you're not going to be able to be fully pleasing to them.

So I want you to think about being pleasing unto the Lord, in that your heart is very important. You tell your heart — one preacher said it like this: smart people — spiritual people — don't listen to themselves; they talk to themselves. And so you tell yourself what's right. You say, "Heart, be obedient. Let's do this with a positive attitude." The Bible says, "Parents, are children to obey your parents?" I'm going to do this. I'm going to get up. I'm going to be obedient. Essentially, you are to do what you're told, when you're told, and not be told again. All parents are inwardly like, "Oh please!" I repeat the same things over and over and over again. If my child could be obedient and do what they're told when they're told and not have to be told again, I'd do a cartwheel — I'd do a backflip — I'd celebrate. So children, if your parents are telling you the same things over and over and over again, that's a lesson I want you to learn. I want you to start doing that, and make it your aim not to make them have to tell you that again. And in all things — especially, especially the internet. And parents, your children should not have unlimited access to the evil net.

There is, according to all logic, a connection between social media and depression, and suicide. And in between that, a lot of times, is medicine that makes them go psychotic — take them to the wrong therapist, and all that kind of stuff. I don't recommend therapy; I recommend the text. Listen to me — do not get caught up on social media. Your parents know of other parents who have had children sneak behind the scenes and start talking to somebody online, and that whole chat group or that texting conversation has led from one thing to the next, and all of a sudden they're depressed. All of a sudden they're not happy with themselves. All of a sudden they're focused on their inner self. All of a sudden everything is not going right with their life. All of a sudden they're not happy with their parents, and that voice on the other side — whom they do not know — they think they're talking to a friend.

Children, listen to me — it's some fat, hairy dude in Russia, somebody pretending to be your friend. If you are sneaking behind the scenes online and talking to someone whom you do not know, it will not go well with you. This person will say, "Hey, where you gonna be on Sunday? Where you gonna be on Saturday?" And he will send some thief to steal you. You will be on a ship to another country to work in enslavement for the rest of your life, and we won't know where you're at. It's just that fast. You can talk to all the police officers here, you can talk to judges, you can talk to anybody you want — that's the truth. And there are parents who are scared to death that's going to happen to their children because the children are disobedient in a simple area of social media. And so media is connected to depression, which is connected to suicide and being stolen. And so you do not talk to people you do not know, period. And that starts in your local life here, and then especially online. Satan is skilled at trapping the most innocent of us all, which is children. And so I say that by way of warning.

This text says it will go well with you if you are obedient in both your actions and in your attitude — it'll go well with you. But as soon as you hit that downward decline, it goes fast. I was up snow skiing in the mountains one time, and a friend of mine started going down the black diamond, the steepest slope, and I was like, "Victor, stop!" He couldn't slow down, he couldn't, and went right into the trees and wrecked. That's like sin — you get going so fast. It starts with disobedience and dishonoring and not going well with you, and it ends in a terrible crash. So when you're going in the wrong direction, it's hard to turn and stop and start and repent and go in another direction. You can do it, but I'm just telling you it's easier to obey your parents now, especially in regards to the evil net. And I say that because of how fast things can go wrong with the internet.

So now I have three take-home truths, and we can go home and be obedient to our parents.

Number one: obey in action and attitude. Obey in action and in attitude. If you're not a child, I so encourage you to take notes on this so that you can teach the children this as well. Children, youth, young adults — the first thing that you should really, really do in heart and mind is obey in both your action and then your attitude. Watch your heart attitude. If you start to drift, say, "Oh boy, I better curve this thing now." Pray and repent and get right with the Lord. Make it known to your parents that you want to obey them.

Number two: learn and live their lessons. Learn and live their lessons. Your parents are so good to take time to teach you what's right — learn that lesson. Okay, but don't let it go in one ear and out the other. Let it go down into your heart. Become what you do, what you believe. So learn and live their lessons. Did you know that parents are most honored by their children when they learn and live their lessons? When children are actually living out and believing and speaking and benefiting from the lessons the parents taught them, they feel most honored. But the other side of the coin is true too — they are most depressed and most dishonored when their children do exactly the opposite of what the parents have taught them. And so we should aspire to be ones who not only honor God but also honor our parents, and then it will go well with you.

Number three: and perhaps I have convinced you to never be disobedient to your parents, never to revolt or rebel against your parents — and might I say your grandparents either? I told Ezekiel — he would say he's doing a great job. Number three — can I set something before you that perhaps would be one of the most meaningful things, if you decide now to do this? To be one of the most meaningful things that will ever be. You see in the Ten Commandments, the command to honor your father and mother is the first relational command, and in that it sets up the whole orderliness of the family, and it is never-ending.

Okay, here's what I want to set before you: care for them like they cared for you. And what I mean by that is that when your parents get older, it's your turn to care for them. Can I set that before you, children? To say to yourself right now, "When my parents get older, I'm not going to let a nursing home take care of my parents. My parents cared for me — it's my turn to care for them." If you could get that in your heart and mind, and be convinced of it, and ask the Lord to make your life such that you can care for your parents, I promise you God will honor that prayer because He honors His Word. And He will make it to where you have a bedroom, or you have the means, you have the ability, to care for your parents like they have cared for you. And it may be that they need to go into a nursing home to be cared for medically, and such — maybe an RN or a nurse needs to take care of them — if you're not able to do so any longer, don't feel bad about that. But you do the best that you can do. I promise you, the richest blessings that God can give you out of heaven will be yours. It'll go well with you.

Let's pray together. And Father, we do love You, and we thank You for Your most precious Word. And I pray that as this text has been directed towards the children, that we've all been ones who benefit from it. And I pray, dear Jesus, first of all that You would make my life — as my wife and I have already committed to my mother that we will take care of her, she's not going in a nursing home — I pray, Father, that as we have prayed and committed to that, You would bless it. And I pray, Father, that this has been a seed, it's been planted inside of all the children here, that they would do likewise, and as well that they would have committed in their heart and mind already that they would never turn against You and rebel against their parents. God, may every single child that is here today be one who, ten and twenty and thirty years from now, is still honoring their parents and honoring You, Father. May every youth and young adult have also been touched by Your Holy Spirit. And if there is an element of repentance that needs to happen right now in their life, to better align with being one who is obedient and honoring, by Your so specific Holy Spirit, point out to them exactly where they should realign themselves to be more obedient and honoring to You and their parents. I pray this, dear Jesus, for youth and young adults. And Father, if there is an adult here who has been ugly or nasty or disobedient to their living parents, no matter how old they are, I pray, dear Jesus, the first thing that they do when they get home is to call and ask for forgiveness — that would be right with them and also right with You. Father, this command to honor doesn't expire, and this is directly at Your heart, because You have named Yourself our Father, and as the name Father is describing to us that parental relationship, I pray, dear Jesus, that we all, underneath the authority of our parents and You, would act accordingly and conform our heart attitude in such a way that it would be pleasing unto You. Oh Lord, we ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.