Courageous Husbands Part 2

Take your marriage manual if you would please and turn to the book of Ephesians. And we shall learn today more about what it is to be united to Christ. Marriage is a rich symbol of who we are in Christ, and I'm convinced that the significance of this symbolism is not fully comprehended in our day. And I would like to dive into this throughout a large portion of God's Word today, and skip around and see just how this relationship between us and Christ is foretold and then also deepened.

There's a staggering comparison as we're focusing today on the husbands loving their wives just as Christ loves the church. So the comparison there is noted through the words "just as." And so husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loves the church. This is such a deep comparison that it should cause you to stammer and be amazed and say, "Oh, I've got to get a grip on this." And so perhaps today it would cause us as men to do some self-examination — to truly see whether or not we are loving our wives just as Christ loved the church.

And so I hope that today's message is very encouraging to us, and that we could see God's high calling for men in this unbelievable standard, and that it deeply impacts you so that we can better intellectually comprehend what we are to be and do. And so this is premarital counseling today. Just as Donovan and Skyler are going to get married soon — today's for you. And then as well, all the marriages represented here today — today's for you. For all of those who are single, today is for you, because this is about how much Christ loves you, and it is enriching your life in Christ. You are espoused to Christ and getting ready for the marriage supper of the Lamb. If you're not married yet, today is for you.

So children, listen up — I have a specific point just for you to be able to write down. And for all the children that take notes, you get a sticker in the back. We get to reward you for that. And that's part of us developing our family discipleship church here — we love to see children worshiping with their parents. Much in Christianity is both caught and taught. And so this unites us, and we see throughout the entire Bible families worshiping and praying and studying and hearing the preaching of the Word together. And so we're formulating that.

So in Ephesians chapter 5, verse 25, the Bible says, "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." That's a reference to the cross. And so our love for our wife should be such that we give ourselves up sacrificially for her in all ways. And so verse 26 says, "So that" — okay, here's the purpose clause. Many of you know that "so that" are my favorite two words in the Bible. They give us the emphasis of what we are to do. "So that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water of the Word." This is rich imagery taken from Ezekiel 16, and we'll turn there later in the message. This washing is an aspect of cleansing. And so one of the points today is that husbands will be cleansing. We'll see that.

And then in verse 27, "That he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she may be holy and blameless." And so husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. He also washes himself in the Word, and he washes his wife, and they are both engaged in sanctification. And just as the husband — if he were to get an injury to his body, would he not tend to that and care for it and nurture it and get back to fullness of health — the same way he nurtures and cares for the wife like his own body. And then verse 29, "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as" — there are those two words again — "just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body."

Today I want husbands to be able to see three things. First of all, in this message — Courageous Husbands, Part 2 — courageous husbands are loving, courageous husbands are leading, and courageous husbands are cleansing. And so the last time I opened up this particular passage, we tackled the subjects of loving and leading, and we will review a couple of those ideas here as I get back into this message. And then we'll venture into the wonderful waters of cleansing.

And so I ask you the question: do we really understand this rich symbolism? I think as we read this passage, we could go back through it and understand this idea of "just as." The husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loves the church. And so our love is to be just as Christ's love. And so as you read the entirety of the Word of God and how Christ loves others and loves the church, this is to be how the husband loves the wife in verse 25.

And then as well, our love is to sanctify and cleanse by the use of the Word of God. In verse 26, read with me: "So that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the Word." And so this is something that we need to believe — the sufficiency of the Word, and that the Word would do the work in our marriages and in our lives. And we handle the Word of God with care and we use it as a means to be able to enrich our marriage.

Then also in verse 27, our love is to be preparing our wife to be presented to Christ. Look in verse 27 with me: "That he may present to himself the church in all of her glory." This word "that" in verse 27 indicates that the prior information is applied in this way. And so in verse 26, "So that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the Word" — this idea of the Word of God sanctifying us, the idea that your wife may be presented to Christ.

And so you have a futuristic aspect to your marriage. You have a very important purpose as to why you're married. It's so much more than just her helping you. You helping her to be sanctified before Christ not only sanctifies her but it prepares you as well, because you are also part of the bride. So using the Word of God in life — in every area of life — there are no hidden compartments in life that are separated from the authority of God's Word. And so yes, you read the Bible together and you study the Bible together and you pray together. But in all areas of life, the Word of God is your authority, and it is to be used to cleanse you and to refine you, to conform you to Christ, so that there's no spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

Now this is not a hermeneutical error where we're looking at wrinkles on your face or anything — so husbands, you're off the hook. You're not required to remove the wrinkles from your wife. The spot and wrinkle here mean something much better. This is talking about purity in Christ.

And so in verse 28, the Bible is talking about our love being like how we care for our own bodies. What a rich illustration, because we care for ourselves. How can we perform? How can we do our jobs? How can we speak? How can we do anything if we first don't clean ourselves up or tend to ourselves? And so we also are tending to our wives as our own bodies.

And then our love is to be nourishing and cherishing. In verse 29, "nourishing" means to bear and carry. And if you are bearing the burdens that your wife has and helping her to carry them, then you're fulfilling the law of the Lord. Galatians chapter 6, verses 1, 2, and 3 says to bear one another's burdens. And so not only does the church meet one another's needs in life, but most especially the husband pays close attention to the wife to help carry the burdens that she's having, lifting them up to the Lord, and seeing to it that she is as stress- and anxiety-free as you possibly can make her.

I like to say it like this: take the things that you're worried about to the Lord in prayer and leave them there. He cares about you. That's what the Bible says in 1 Peter chapter 5, verse 7. If you would take your anxieties to the Lord and place them on Him, His shoulders are strong enough to carry those burdens, but yours are not. We're sheep, right? You may have heard this before, but it's worth saying again: if a shepherd were to take and tie a large traveling pack — your duffel bag or your luggage or whatnot — on the back of a sheep, the sheep would just lie down and not go anywhere, not drink anything, not eat anything, and actually die. Now a donkey or a horse or an elephant can carry a load, but sheep are not designed to carry loads. And so husbands, you must see to it that your wife is not carrying an unnecessary load.

You have to work together in taking things to the Lord in prayer and leaving them there. Execute God's will for her life. Lead her in this wonderful way to see that her gifts from God are being exercised and lived out, and not taking on all of the anxieties and the pressures of the world, but doing exactly what the Lord wants in both the marriage and in her life.

So our love is to be nourishing and also cherishing — not only nourishing and caring for her, but also cherishing. This idea helps us to understand that we are to cherish, which is to softly and warmly love and foster. And that does not come naturally for rough, gruff men. But if you will truly, softly, and gently love and lead your wife, the biblical responses — or results — to that are astounding. The richness of a marriage is far beyond what I could put into words. It really is a mystery. It truly is great.

But men, there's a time and a place to be rough and tough, and that is not with your wife. And there's a time where you grab on to things and you make it work and you force it in, maybe with metal or nuts and bolts or trying to fix a motor, but not with your wife. There's a time where we need to be cherishing and gentle and loving and kind and utilizing God's precepts and principles, applied in those ways.

Did you know a strong man is able to harness his emotions and control them, but a weak man is one who gives full vent to his fury? It's a weak man who hits a wife. It's a weak man who is sarcastic and mean and cutting to his wife. But it's a strong and meek and mild and gentle man who is able to control his responses and to be gentle and kind and cherish her. You know, Christ was like that with you, right? He loved you while you were yet still a sinner. While you were vile and ugly and nasty and undeserving, He died for you. He gave His best for your worst. And this is just as we are supposed to love our wives. There's no caveat here to where we can't be gentle and kind. And so nourish and cherish the wife.

For those of you who are not married, this is how Christ is loving you every single day. He is actively pursuing and loving and cherishing and nourishing you.

And then as well, the Bible says in verse 31 that our love as husbands should cause deep unity. In verse 31, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is deep unity. And any time you are not unified in your marriage, you know it. And it is the husband's job to lead in reunifying, wherever that may be needed.

And in verse 32, our love should cause a greater understanding of the majestic and great mystery of why Christ loves us. Verse 32: "This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church." And so as you love your wife, husbands, it will cause a certain wonder at why you are loving her even while she is sometimes undeserving of your kindness and gentleness and love. And that reflection upon "He loved me even though" will cause a greater understanding, because that love you know is not a worldly love. That love is not of him — that's because Christ first loved him, and he is receiving the love of God through Him. It's undeserved and unmerited. And this is why husbands, you must be in the Word of God. You must be praying. You must be yielding. You must be conforming to Christ. You must be receiving the constant love of God in your life — and not blocking it, not doing things yourself, not doing things in the flesh, because that will wreck your marriage.

And so we're responsible to cultivate an atmosphere of unity, and this causes a greater love for Christ.

Now it is interesting in verse 33 that Paul gets through this section and says the word "nevertheless." Look with me in verse 33: "Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."

So here Paul has been dwelling upon the richness of our union in Christ and our unmerited love that we receive and the responsibility that we have to continue in Christ — how rich and wonderful this is. And it's almost as if he steps back and gets outside of the grander, greater imagery of what marriage symbolizes in our union with Christ and says, "Wait a minute. Nevertheless, husbands and wives, this is what you need to do. Husbands, you need to love your wives, and wives, you need to respect your husbands."

I mean, this is such surface-level stuff. But the greater, grander subject is the mystery in Christ that we have in our union with Him. And so as we start to look at not only our responsibilities as husbands and wives, but also with a dual train of thought compare what Christ is setting forth for us to see — while we remember what husbands are to do to love their wife and what wives are to do to respect the husband — we are remembering the primary idea is that Christ loves His church. In verse 32 it says, "I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church."

And so point number one, as a review from last time I preached in this section, is: courageous husbands love. Courageous husbands love. Verse 25 says: courageous husbands love your wives. Now just one note in this: it's interesting that the first point for which husbands are to do is to love their wives. And I think it is perhaps logical to estimate that this is an area of weakness that men have in general, and so they have to be told, "Love your wives." And so this point of instruction for the husband is directed toward their primary weakness. And so this is an area for men to grow in as they cultivate their marriage and learn how to be married.

Husbands are to love their wife with God's love. They can't do it in and of themselves. God's love is the same as Christ's love for the church, which is to be the same love that you have for your wife. And so Christ generously gave Himself while we were undeserving. He was kind while we were unkind. He was gentle while we were not gentle. He was understanding while we were accusatory. He was passionate for us while we were indifferent to Him. He was prayerful for us while we were not only indifferent but hateful. And if you are indifferent to God, that is hating Him. God's love was extended consistently without any qualifications of worthiness or righteousness.

And that's a big point for marriage, men. You are to love your wives when you feel like it and when you don't feel like it. It's not that she has cleaned the whole house and now you love her — otherwise you communicate to her that it is a works-based marriage. It is not a marriage where if she has lived up and met all of your needs and done all of what you think should be done, then you love her. You're to love her without any reservations. And she needs to know that, and you need to communicate that, and you need to do that.

Not only are courageous husbands to love, but they're also to lead. In verses 22 to 24 it says, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife" — okay, so he's the head — "as Christ also is head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is to be subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their own husbands in everything." And so you have a tall order here, men, to lead your wife in everything, and that means you need to be engaged in these things.

So we are to be lovingly leading our wives. Don't leave her. Don't abandon her. Don't make her feel like she's alone in areas. We all need to work on this. Our chief area of leading, however, is to be glorifying Christ our King — which is to know Him, to worship Him, to be sanctified by His Word, to serve Him, to baptize, and to love. If you're going to glorify God, you're going to be engaged in leading your wife in these areas.

So what does it mean for husbands to lovingly lead their wives? The husband will lovingly lead her in knowing God more. Philippians 3:10 says Paul's purpose was to know God — in the fellowship of His suffering and in all kinds of areas. Not only that, we are to lovingly lead in the area of worshiping God. And so we should be worshipers of God — not only here at church and not only when we praise God on Wednesday night and testify and sing, but also at home we should be worshiping the Lord in many ways, growing and being refined by God's Word and celebrating these areas of refinement. This is an area of fellowship that deepens the unity in the marriage, and serving Christ together, especially through the local church.

Courageous husbands love their wives and they lead their wives, primarily in loving and glorifying Christ.

Now one of the areas that husbands are also to lead in is cleansing. Look in verse 26: "So that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water of the Word." This word "cleansing" means to make clean, to purge. So in a moral sense, it is to be free from defilement. These areas are to be worked on by the Word of God. We don't have to use a strong, loud voice in this area — at all, in any area. You just simply let the Word do the work. If you read the Scriptures together, it will have a sanctifying aspect. And so we are helping ourselves in the marriage to be free from sin but also from guilt. To be sin-free is also to remove the guilt of past sins. And so if the husband is truly loving and leading the wife, not only is there a removal of daily sins, but we all have been saved — which means we were, before salvation, wretched and vile. So we all have a past, and whatever that is, sometimes the devil can use that to pounce on us. And we need to make sure as husbands that we are utilizing the Word of God to help sanctify our marriage and ourselves, and especially our wives — in every area, so much so that it gets down to even how she feels throughout the day, removing any guilt and shame.

Guys, this takes some attention. This takes some tending. You can't be a workaholic and neglect your wife. That's what the American culture will do to you. It'll make you think that you have to make all the money and bring home the bacon and then you're done — kick up your feet. That's not true. And so for those of you who are looking to get married one day, make sure that your future husband is being discipled by a strong man here at Beulah Baptist Church for about ten years — or better yet, he just loves Christ. If he puts Christ first, all of these things will fall into line.

And so to be cleansed is a work by the Word of God, and so courageous husbands are cleansing. Now first of all, husbands, you can't do any of this if you are not doing it yourself. Wives will truly see that you are being cleansed, and then they will engage in being cleansed. You cannot expect something that you are not first doing, and she will see the Word as a change agent in your life if you change. If you're the same person that you were five years ago, then you have not changed and grown in your faith. But when the wife sees growth, and when she sees holiness, and when she sees these things — that the Word is working on you — then she will truly engage.

And so cleansing then is first of all to be done by the husband in your own life. Be faithful to Christ. No hidden compartments in your life. You must be faithful, you must be true. God sees everything, and especially between the unity of the husband and wife you will be found out. Believe me, young men — if you're not married yet — if you're hiding something, it'll be found out. Not only by God, but your wife will sniff it out. And so you cannot think that just because you can get away with something today that you'll be able to get away with it later. These bad habits have to be rooted out now. The Bible says, "Be sure your sin will find you out" — Numbers 32:23. It'll rise to the surface and it'll be seen.

And so you have to be the primary example. You have to be the example of growing in your faith. And then once you are right with Christ and walking with Him, then your first ministry to your wife can be effective. Every husband has a primary ministry, a first ministry, and that is to his wife. You perhaps know where ministers would make the mistake of making ministry their mistress — they put the ministry before their wife and they have hardships in their marriage. Well, that's true for anything. If anything is before your wife in marriage, then you'll have hardships. So your first ministry is to your wife. Husbands, your first ministry before your children is to your wife. So get used to loving your wife and leading her in these ways. Get used to talking about spiritual things. Get used to telling her and encouraging her about where you're growing in your faith.

The cleansing aspect for the husbands is ministering to their wives. I would give you a few points of advice in this area. First, be patient. Purge gently. Purge patiently. You don't want to use a hammer in this area. You want to be gentle and kind and let the Word do the work. And so the husband's duty is to lovingly lead the wife patiently. God has been patient with you, has He not? How long have we carried sin and not repented of it? How long have we been indifferent to God? How long have we held on to things and been reluctant to do what we know we should be doing? You know, we're hard-headed sometimes, men, and God has been patient with us. And so you are not ready to be married yet if you are not able to be patient with her.

If you can't provide and be patient, don't get married yet. Don't just jump into this thing. This is rich and wonderful and huge and everything. This is a lot here, and so put patience on. The Bible says in James 5:7, "Be patient." There are the first two words of that scriptural verse right there — "Be patient." It's a command. It's not a suggestion.

I'd also recommend that you govern in this way gently. So gentle governing. So purge patiently and govern gently. And as we've been talking about, we utilize the Word of God as the means and the way that we sanctify the wife. The Bible says in Jeremiah 23:29 that the Word is a hammer. And so here is what I want you to know about gentle governing: don't use the Word like a hammer. It already has the weight, so you don't have to point it out with emphasis and a harsh tone. You don't have to be harsh and ugly and mean and pointed. You don't have to say things that are sharp. You need to utilize the Word of God with patience and gentleness and kindness in a nurturing and considerate way. The power is in the Word. You do not need to add emphasis to that — especially with your wife. And so if something is wrong, be gentle in how you address it, and the Word will do the work. Even if there is an emotional response, don't get drawn into that. Lead gently. Be one who has self-control. That's a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Be controlled by the Word of God and let the Word do the work. So govern gently. The manner in which you use the Word of God should be gentle.

And then as well, be transparent in your teaching. James 5:16 says to confess your sins to one another. So you certainly cannot be one who projects himself as having it all together — because we don't. And if you are transparent with your wife, then she will view you as authentic and real and engage with you.

And then I think it's just common sense to say that this is gradual growth. Don't have the expectation of perhaps a wonderful marriage that you may see sprinkled within this congregation and think that you can have that within the first year. It takes years to cultivate a wonderful marriage, and both have a lot of work to be done. A lot of work goes into cultivating a good marriage. It takes ten years to even get your feet on the ground, most of the time. And so in your first year of marriage, there's a lot of work to be done — to be patient with one another and love one another — and just simply know that gradual growth is a biblical expectation. It's gradual.

And so Ephesians 4:15 says, "Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects unto Him who is the head, that is Christ." And so as you are growing up in all aspects of the Word of God — you think you can know it all overnight? That's not possible. You think you can apprehend all of what it is to have a godly marriage in just a year? That's not possible. And so the expectations there are simply gradual growth. Grow steadily and don't have the highest expectations. And if you do this — listen to me — when you fail, you have the long haul in mind and you don't have to worry about it, because you're like, "It's part of the process." And so when things happen and things go wrong, it's okay. You continue to utilize the Word of God and it's okay.

And so: gradual growth, transparent teaching, gentle governing, and purge patiently. The husband is to love his wife in these ways.

For a purpose — in verse 27 the Bible says, "That he may present to himself the church in all of her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless." Guys, this is a wonderful purpose, and that takes you to a higher area of thinking about marriage. And so this purpose clause indicates why Christ died. He died so that we may be presented to Him holy and blameless. And so it's not just salvation and it stops there. It is salvation and sanctification, looking futuristically to being united to Christ as bride. And so Christ gave Himself up for her in verse 25 — and that is the indication here. And so now we see that we are engaged in a goal that looks beyond today and beyond this week and even beyond this year, to being united to Christ in a futuristic way. This is rich. This is for us to be able to understand in a revelatory way.

Look in Revelation chapter 19, verse 7. Revelation chapter 19, verse 7 helps us to see futuristically the goal for marriage, and as husbands are commanded to wash their wives with the Word of God they are also being washed by the Word of God, and now they are getting ready for the bride.

And as you turn to Revelation chapter 19, verse 7, I want to give all of our kids their point in this message today. Kids — are you ready? I want you to take note of this: keep yourself clean. Write that down. That's what I want you to know. Keep yourself clean.

If you will do this, you will save your marriage a whole lot of unnecessary pain and suffering and confusion. If you'll keep yourself clean and be preparing for marriage now, you'll save yourself a lot of heartache. But you will also be preparing for what I'm fixing to read in the book of Revelation.

Keep yourself clean now, and you will continue to be heading in the right direction — which is to stay away from sin, to run from the things that all the neighborhood kids are doing that's wrong. Don't think about all of those things. Think about Christ. Think about what's right. You stay focused and stay on that path.

In Revelation chapter 19, verse 7, it says, "Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready." How has she made herself ready? Well, right now you are making yourself ready — by staying clean, by studying the Bible, and being sanctified, becoming more and more like Christ. We are making ourselves ready now to be united to Christ. And in verse 8 it says, "And it was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints."

We're to be laboring in our sanctification right now. We're to be working hard in this. We are to be not only knocking off the rough edges but also sanding down any areas that should not be, and then as well inwardly purging who we are so that it glorifies Christ. This is rich information.

From Isaiah chapter 61, in verses 10 and 11, the Bible says, "I will rejoice greatly in Yahweh. My soul will rejoice in my God, for He has clothed me with garments of salvation. He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a headdress and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the earth brings forth its branches, and as a garden causes the things sown to branch out, so the Lord Yahweh will cause righteousness and praise to branch out before the nations."

This rich imagery here of our covenant marriage with Christ is about how Christians are espoused to Christ and we are getting ready for this. And what this produces is the ability to rejoice greatly. When we're focused on the rich imagery of what marriage really is — whether you're married here or not, as a husband and a wife — the greater idea is that you are espoused to Christ, and so this message is meaningful for everyone here today. It causes you to rejoice in verse 10, and it also causes you to know that you have been clothed with salvation and clothed with a robe of righteousness. This speaks of imputed salvation. It speaks of imputed righteousness. He is clothing, He is giving these things to you in every way. It also talks about how this is a life of abundance in Christ and how then we should branch out and show the world and tell the world about Christ and reach the nations. It's interesting that "nations" is plural — it's not just for Israel. We are to raise the standard and understanding of Christ to all nations.

And so this is our marital union with Christ. It is rich and wonderful. And so this greater purpose for the husband — to be washing the wife with the water of the Word — is helping us to understand that we have a futuristic purpose in mind. It's not just living hand to mouth for the day. We read a verse of Scripture, we read the Bible, and we're encouraged and refined, and we have the motivation to live today. But we also have this futuristic mindset to be being sanctified as we look forward to being united to Christ.

Now husbands, we also often feel convicted because we inwardly know that there's more to life, or that we should be doing more. And let me tell you — whether you feel like you should be doing more in cleaning up the backyard, or some closet that needs to be done, or changing the oil, or all these different things — let me help put the priorities right. When we feel the conviction of perhaps "oughtness," like we need to be doing more — which is a good feeling, Christ is drawing you, leading you, like you're to be leading your wife — this is a priority. Bible study is a priority. Washing the wife with the Word — also washing yourself — this is a priority. And so a lot of times we focus on the areas where we're strong and we want to get some kudos or whatever if we serve in a particular way. Perhaps you're working out of one area of your life and you're always doing that one thing. But maybe you're missing this at the expense of what is best. This is truly a priority: to be washing with the Word of God. And when you see this greater purpose — living not for today but for Christ and for eternity — this will fuel you with a passion and a motivation that ignites the marriage and sets you far beyond being unmotivated by just today.

And so now I'd like to give you some take-home truths. Number one is: lovingly lead in conforming to Christ. If you look at the passage, you're going to see that we need to be loving our wife and leading our wife in conforming to Christ. And so the washing of her with the Word of God is not just for her — it's for us as well, because any time you handle the Word of God it is washing you. And so this mutual benefit of being washed by the Word is ultimately conforming you to Christ, which is to be deeply engaged in Bible study. And so you can expect wonderful transformations.

Now if you have the philosophy of "Do what I say, not as I do," let me just tell you — that doesn't work. And so we must make the time to be able to prioritize what we expect to be being done. Husbands, let me tell you — this is not easy. This comes with the hard word "no" in your own life. You have to say no to some good things. You have to say no to some great things so that you can say yes to the most important things. And once the ball gets rolling, it really does gain momentum. And so I recommend — if you're not already — just reading the Word out loud to your wife, with your wife. I recommend reading the Word out loud with your family. This is one way to get started. So develop the healthy habit of just reading the Word regularly together, and as that grows and deepens you'll see it continue to get deeper and deeper and deeper.

And so this number one is a downward humiliation. If you discipline yourself to have some of these purposes of godliness as a priority, then you will kneel at the feet of the cross. You'll pray. You'll slow down. And you will experience what Christ experienced on the cross — which is humiliation. Humble yourself. And the Bible says in Luke 18:14 that if you will humble yourself, then He will exalt you. But if you exalt yourself, you'll be humbled. And so I encourage you to perhaps slow down in life, humble yourself, and submit to the Scriptures. So lovingly lead in conforming to Christ — number one.

Number two would be: work at washing yourselves. Work at washing yourselves. This is not easy work, and so I use the word "work" on purpose, because the Bible uses the word "work" all over the place. In Philippians 2:12 it says, "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is at work in you." This is work, and it's not easy, because it removes things that you're passionate about and replaces them with other things that you have to become passionate about. It removes things of the flesh that sometimes are hurtful and sometimes cause you to have a negative response or even a sinful response. We are attached to some sinful things, and the Word will expose that. But you have to work at this. This is work in our lives.

Hebrews 12:14 says, "Without sanctification no one will see the Lord." And so as you are working in your sanctification, you have a promise here that those who are engaged in sanctification will see the Lord. It is a sign that you're truly saved. John 17:17 says, "Sanctify them in the Word. Your Word is truth." This is verification that you're on the right path. And I just want to encourage you in that — it's not easy. And so it takes energy and it takes time. And so if you prioritize this, then you have to say no to other things in life. If you have a hobby that's taking up too much time and you do not have the capacity or time to prioritize this, then you have to say no to some of that. The same thing goes for all of life.

And so work at washing yourselves. During each day be working out your salvation, and as your authentic relationship with Christ refines your own life, your wife will be drawn to that. Others will see that, and the whole process works. And so don't be stubborn in these areas. Make it to where you have the mental and emotional wherewithal to do this. I classify it as work, so work out — work at it. Work at washing yourselves.

And then my third point would be: be preparing for eternity. Oftentimes we get so caught up in the needs of the day — and that is to be thought about, and you have to put energy and effort into these things, I understand — but at the same time, don't live underneath the circumstances in life. Fly high like an eagle. Fly with Christ. Live and dwell with Christ and look forward to being united to Him.

And so be preparing for eternity. Ephesians is talking about doing this in Ephesians chapter 5, verse 27: "That he might present to himself the church in all her glory." And so all of this washing of the Word is pointing your minds futuristically toward being united to Christ. This is wonderful. And so this presentation of yourselves to Christ — glorious and blameless and sinless — is talking about uniting the church to Christ. And this is a goal that's to be worked toward.

You know, I went and saw one of our own — Lavaris — go and compete in a state championship wrestling match last week. And I saw in the parking lot a whole lot of campers set up. They'd been there a while. I thought, "Wow, these families have been working towards this event. They've been training and practicing and competing, and now they're at the state finals." And I saw all these campers and all these things, and there's a lot of effort and a lot of time and a lot of money that has been put into this. And if you would view your marriage in the same way — there's a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of work — and you have to aim at something.

Here's the aim: we have the aim in Revelation chapter 19, verses 7 and 8. We have this goal for our marriage, and if you have that in mind, you're not stuck in today. You're actually aiming for something. You're filled with Christ. You're motivated. This is wonderful. But you have to have this in mind and be preparing for eternity. So you're reading the Bible not just to read the Bible for today, not just to get through another day — you're reading the Bible with this purpose in mind. You're aiming at something. You're going somewhere. You're thinking higher than earth and you're thinking longer than this life. That's leadership, husbands. If you want to lovingly lead your wife, think about what's most important and aim for these things. Don't be given to the temporal. Don't give all of your time and all of your capacity and all of your everything for the temporal. Be about the eternal and truly lead your wife in this direction. So be preparing for eternity. This is upward glorification — you're going to be glorifying Christ along the way. You're going to be spreading His glory.

All right. So number one: lovingly lead in conforming to Christ. Number two: work at washing yourselves. Number three: be preparing for eternity. And my last point is: increase your commitment to the covenant. Increase your commitment.

You see, when a covenant was made in the Old Testament, they verified it by cutting an animal in half, standing in between these two pieces, and they would say, "If I violate my side of this agreement, may what has been done to this animal happen to me." That's how serious this covenant is. And as David Parker preached last week on Hebrews chapter 8 and helped us to understand the new covenant — this covenant that was foretold by Jeremiah in Jeremiah 31:31 — we understand this new covenant has been ratified by Christ in His blood. He mediated this new covenant for us. This is serious. Christ has died for these purposes. We have something here that we have to comprehend intellectually — that there's a lot at stake when it comes to Christ and how He has loved us sacrificially and gave Himself up for us. And now we are in covenant with Him. He has invested in this agreement. He's got a lot more than just sweat in the game — it's blood.

And so if you were to take your covenant relationship with Christ seriously, then you also take the same relationship that you have with your wife seriously, because of Ephesians chapter 5 and how it makes very clear that we are to love our wives just as Christ loved the church. This is a higher calling for us to engage in our commitment. And so I'm calling us to increase our commitment to the covenant — both your covenant in Christ and your covenant to your wife. Increase that. Learn more about it. Engage in it. Talk about it. Work on it.

And so a covenant marriage — with your wife and with Christ — has been illustrated through many Scriptures. And I would like to say that rather than doing a deep dive in that and seeing so many rich things from the Old Testament pointing to the New Testament, one of the ways that you can incrementally grow in this area has been testified by Isaiah in chapter 28, verse 10. And I close with this verse. If you'll do this, then these wonderful truths will be true for you and your life in a gradual way. Isaiah chapter 28, verse 10 says, "Order on order, order on order, line on line, line on line, a little here, a little there." This is simply saying that God's commandments, His order, His law — if you would engage in it one orderly precept at a time and stack the next one that you learn on top of that one — well, don't be like the homeless guy who has on a pair of really dirty pants and a stinky shirt and then someone gives him a new pair of pants and a new shirt. Don't be like the homeless guy who throws the old clothes away and puts on the new ones — he didn't gain anything, he made a lateral move. But if you spiritually would not be like the homeless guy but instead stack and retain one valuable thing in God's Word, applied in your life, on top of another, on top of another, you'll make great headway. You'll grow. You'll be being sanctified.

Order on order, order on order. And this wonderful, rich imagery — line upon line, line upon line — husbands, hold the line. In Amos chapter 7, verse 7, the prophet gives the illustration of a plumb line, which is the Word of God, the standard for life. If you're going to measure anything in your life, measure it by the Word of God. A plumb line — an actual carpenter's plumb line — will show you whether or not that wall you're erecting or building is straight or crooked. God's plumb line will reveal whether what's in our life is straight or crooked. Husbands, hold the line. Hold the line. Hold the Word of God in your life. It is so invaluable that you live it and you breathe it, you own it and you work by it. It takes time, it takes investment. Hold the line — line by line. And then what this verse says will be true for you: a little here and a little there. Over the course of a short amount of time you will grow in such a way that it'll be staggering. Give yourself five years. You'll never be able to guess what God can do in your life in five years with just this little by little by little. I've said it all of my ministry career: just be consistent. Continue in the Word. Seek first the kingdom of God. Be faithful to Christ. You'd be amazed at how far you can go in just a short amount of time, little by little.

I hope this has been a blessing to you. Let's pray together. Lord, thank You for Your Word. Help us not only to comprehend how to be good husbands and good wives, but help us to comprehend, dear Jesus, the rich imagery that You have given us in the Word of marriage. It's the only place in the entire Word of God where You have illustrated Your relationship with us, the church, in marriage. And so as we, Lord, engage faithfully, I pray, Lord, that if there were any Israelite tendencies among us to be unfaithful or given to worshiping false idols in our lives, I pray, God, that You would help us to repent. Help us to reflect right now upon our own lives. If there's anything in our life that is taking us from prioritizing You, let us not be like the adulterous Israelites. God, help us. Give us a spirit of self-examination and repentance, and that we want to be pleasing unto You. 2 Corinthians 5:9 says, "Let us be pleasing to You." We want to please You, dear Jesus. Let us put our flesh aside, our self-interest aside, our wrong motives, and then help us pursue You, dear Jesus.

I pray as well, Father, if there's any here who have never been saved by Your glorious grace, that they would see what has been talked about today as something that they could never do on their own — and that's a true thought, dear God. You've given that to them. Help them to be saved from this perverse generation. Acts 2:40 says, and give them, dear God, repentance and faith so that they can express that by confessing You as Lord. I pray, dear Jesus, that they would repent of their ways and turn to You.

Father, any of us here who needs to spend some time with You in prayer — pray that now would be the time that they would realign their lives with Your priorities and reset some goals and make it an aim to be pleasing unto You and to prioritize these precepts.

Lord, we love You. Thank You for Your gentle and kind nature in our life, that You have led us and been so patient with us. Let us do likewise. Let us be patient and kind and gentle with our wives and our children.

Now I pray, dear Jesus, for the children that are here in this worship service, that they would work hard at keeping their lives clean, to see what the Bible says and what it is to be pleasing unto You, and to live holy and righteous lives. And whenever they mess up, let them be quick to confess their sin as they do them.

And I pray as well for the youth here who are preparing for marriage, that they would see how important it is to live holy lives — striving for purity and protecting their purity.

And Father, I pray for all of the young marriages here, that they would continue to see the rich imagery as first pointing to You, and if they would keep You first, then all of these things would work their way through. And that they would be patient and kind with themselves and not place too much weight on the first year or two of their marriage.

I pray as well, dear Jesus, for all of the marriages here, that we — now after hearing this material — would renew our effort in making marriage rich and wonderful and beautiful as a symbol of our relationship with You. And I pray, dear Jesus, that the husbands would lovingly lead their wives in unifying and being close to one another in such a way that it glorifies You. God, we love You. Thank You for helping us in this most personal way. You're an awesome God. We'll praise You. It's in Christ's name we pray. Amen.